饶恕带下医治大能：三年脑震荡得恢复

My name is Amanda, and I was born and raised in America. 我叫Amanda，在美国出生、美国长大。I have a lovely husband, and we have three kids. 我有一个可爱的丈夫和三个孩子。While people thought I was having a happy life, in reality, after a car accident three years ago, my personal life became very challenging.别人也许认为我过得很好，但是三年前一场车祸，却带给我的生活许多挑战。

Three years ago I was in a traumatic accident that gave me a concussion, chronic pain and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).  三年前发生的一场严重事故，导致我受了重伤，患上了脑震荡、慢性疼痛以及创伤后应激障碍（PTSD）。As a result of the concussion, I developed severe depression and anxiety. 脑震荡导致我陷入了严重的抑郁和焦虑之中。

The concussion impacted my daily brain functioning and it left me with daily headaches, lots of confusion, dizziness and balancing problems, fatigue,  这个病影响了我大脑的日常功能，我每天都感到头痛、迷糊、头晕、平衡困难、疲劳，extreme sensitivity to noise and light, difficulty concentrating, emotional lability, and forgetfulness.对噪音和光线极度敏感，注意力无法集中，情绪波动，并且健忘。

The concussion also limited me in what I was able to achieve in a day and all activities that brought joy and fun were removed.  脑震荡使我每天都无法做到以前能做的事，无法参加任何带来快乐和乐趣的活动。Following the accident nearly every day, it was a struggle just to get myself out of bed, get ready for work, and then get my kids ready for school and preschool, then take them to school and preschool. 比如，事故后有段时间，几乎每天早晨，我都要费力挣扎，才能让自己从床上起来、准备上班，然后把孩子送去学校和幼儿园。By the time I did all that, I was ready to return home and sleep, but I needed to go to work instead.  做完这些之后，我已经累得不行只能躺着了，可还得去上班。It wasn’t easy for myself or even for my husband who had to pick up everything that I did prior to the accident. 这段日子对我实在艰难，对我先生也是，因我以前的份内之事都变成他得承担的了。

As a result of this injury, I was required to reduce my hours at work to heal. 受伤后我不得不减少工作时间来康复，I also had to attend numerous appointments every week with various professionals.必须每周与各类专业人士频繁预约、会面。

On top of all this, within a year I also lost many people I loved. 最令人伤心的事，是一年之内我失去很多我爱的人。Also, my biological dad and a friend of mine were diagnosed with cancer. 我的生父和一个朋友也被诊断患有癌症。

Things kept getting worse and words really can’t describe how bad it was. 可情况还在恶化，其程度难以用言语形容。With my reduced hours at work I isolated myself a lot – the headaches were too much and very painful which made concentrating a struggle.  工作时间减少，我经常感到孤立无援，我头痛得厉害，非常痛苦，很难集中注意力。Social interactions were next to nothing as I didn’t even have the energy to take care of myself, my kids, and get my work done. 我也基本没法儿社交，因我无力照顾自己、孩子、完成工作。When I was around people, I was physically there yet mentally checked out.当我和人们在一起时，我身体在那里，心却已经走神了。One time I accidently gave my kids raw potatoes in their lunch box because I thought they were green apples.  有一次，我不小心把生土豆放进了孩子的午餐盒里，因为我以为它们是青苹果。It’s funny now, but as you can imagine, my kids weren’t thrilled by this. 现在想起来很有趣，但你可以想象到，孩子们可不会高兴。

Additionally, I was only sleeping around 20 hours in a week with frequent nightmares – I was so exhausted that I longed for sleep, but sleep rarely came, and when it did, it did not refresh me.  此外，我每周只睡大约20个小时，还常常发噩梦——我极度疲惫，渴望睡眠，但睡得很少，就算睡着了，醒了还是没劲儿。I essentially lost the ability to properly function. Plus, I lost a substantial amount of weight.  我基本上过不了正常生活。另外，我瘦得厉害。As you can imagine all of this was incredibly overwhelming and our household was just managing to survive.  你可以想象，所有这些都是无比沉重的负担，我们的家也只是在勉强维持着。I felt that I was being spiritually attacked and figuratively drowning every single day.  我觉得我每天都受到属灵的攻击，每天都像溺水那样。I even confided this to one of the professionals that I saw; they told me that they couldn’t help me and I was on my own.  我甚至向一位专业人士倾诉了这一切；他们说他们没办法，我只能靠自己。My thoughts were filled with lies and I got to a point where I didn’t want to be alive anymore.  我的脑子里满了谎言，我到了不想活的地步。While things were really bad I clung to the only thing that I could, which is God’s promise that he will never leave or forsake me. 尽管情况非常糟糕，我还是紧紧抓住了唯一能够依靠的东西，那就是上帝的应许，祂永不会离弃我。I remember not being able to concentrate on praying for specific things as my memory and concentration was awful, 因我的记忆力和注意力太差了，我连为一件特定的事祷告都做不到，注意力完全集中不了， but I remember praying daily that God would keep holding me by his righteous right hand, because I was scared of what might happen if he did let go of me.但我记得我每天都在祈求上帝用祂公义的右手紧紧地抓住我，因为我害怕，要是祂放开我，后果将无法想象。I was reminded of Isaiah 41:10 which reads: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.“ 我想起了以赛亚书41:10：“你不要害怕，因为我与你同在；不要惊惶，因为我是你的神。我必坚固你，我必帮助你，我必用我公义的右手扶持你。”

In 2023 I started becoming more intentional about recovering. 2023年，我特地开始多作康复。However, during this time every plan that I made failed. 但在那段时间，我的计划全都失败了。At the beginning of January of this year, I asked God what he wanted me to do this year and I got the sense that this was going to be the year of healing and returning to him. 今年一月初，我问上帝今年要我做什么，我有感动说今年将是医治并回转向祂的年份。Also, at the beginning of this year one of the daily Bible verses that popped up on my Bible app that stood out to me was from Hosea 10:12. 另外，年初我的圣经app中弹出一篇每日经文，让我留意，是何西阿书10:12。It reads “sow righteousness for yourselves, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until he comes and shower his righteousness on you.” 它说“你们要为自己栽种公义，就能收割慈爱。现今正是寻求耶和华的时候，你们要开垦荒地，等他临到，使公义如雨降在你们身上。”I was intrigued by the “break up your unplowed ground” part and I spent some time seeking what this meant. “开垦荒地”几个字抓住了我，于是我花了些时间去想是什么意思。Breaking up my unplowed ground means confronting the things that I’ve been running from, giving up my coping mechanisms, getting rid of strongholds, and my hiding places, and surrendering them to God. 开垦我的荒地意味着去面对我一直逃避的事情，放弃我固有的应对机制，摆脱营垒，离开藏身之处，使它们降服于上帝。

In February, this finally clicked when Jane started talking to me about family curses and how imperative it was to forgive my parents. 二月份，当Jane和我分享关于家族的诅咒以及饶恕父母的重要性时，我终于明白了这一点。Unfortunately, I grew up in a household that had mental health and substance use issues where there was a lot of abuse, and consequently a lot to forgive. 不幸的是，我成长的家庭有一些心理健康和药物滥用问题，发生过很多虐待的事，因此我有很多需要饶恕的事情。After doing this both personally and twice with Jane, I became free of the chronic pain that I have been living with on a daily basis over the last three years. 我自己祷告饶恕，也两次和简一起祷告饶恕，这之后，我竟然摆脱了过去三年来每天都有的慢性疼痛。Various people have noticed and commented on me smiling more since. 很多人注意到了，并且说我从那时开始笑得更多了。My mood has improved and my mind appears to be less chaotic and more still. 我的情绪有所改善，我的思维似乎也不那么混乱，变得平静了。

Then two weeks ago Jane preached about judgement. 两周前Jane讲道分享到论断。That following Monday, my pain came back. 第二天是星期一，我的疼痛又回来了。After talking to Jane and praying, I realised that I had been judging myself quite harshly since the accident and that opened the door for the pain to return. 在与Jane交通祷告后，我意识到事故之后我一直非常苛刻地论断自己，这为疼痛的返回开了门。After praying for forgiveness, shortly thereafter my pain went away. 在祈求饶恕之后，疼痛不久就消失了。This was a reminder that forgiveness isn’t a once and done experience. 这提醒了我，原来饶恕不是一次的，而是每天的操练，It's a daily practice of inviting the Holy Spirit into my life to reveal to me who and what needs to be forgiven while also bringing it back to Jesus, cancelling my debts on the cross, as well as reconciliation. 每天邀请圣灵进入我的生活，向我启示谁需要被饶恕，以及为什么需要饶恕，同时也把这一切带到耶稣那里，在十字架上免去我的债，成就和睦。Doing this means that God is working on me, refining me, and I am striving to live by his precepts 上帝借着饶恕塑造我，炼净我，而我则努力遵行祂的诫命律例，and as the rest of the verse in Hosea stated, “then God will shower righteousness on you” and you will “reap a crop of unfailing love” and that’s a promise of growth and new life. 结果正如何西阿书中经文后面部分所说，“使公义如雨降在你们身上”，你将“收割慈爱”，这就是成长和新生命的应许。