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2024-06-30 付传道的见证Pastor Fu’s Testimony

发表于 2024-07-01

保罗离开以弗所教会时说:When Paul left the Ephesian church, he said, “如今我把你们交托神和他恩惠的道,这道能建立你们,叫你们和一切成圣的人同得基业。”(徒 20:32)"Now I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified" (Acts 20:32). 是的,神的话语能建立我们,Yes, God's word can indeed build us up. 唯有祂是道路、真理、生命。He alone is the way, the truth, and the life. 当Jane分享她关于“理解神国领地概念”的第一篇信息时, When Jane shared her first message about "Understanding the Kingdom Concept of Territory," 这对我影响深远。it impacted me profoundly.

尤其是她提到,如果狮王不能保护自己的领地,Especially when she mentioned that if a lion king cannot protect its territory, 入侵者要么杀死它,要么驱赶它去流浪。invaders will either kill it or drive it away to wander. 它的幼崽也会被杀死,它的领地会被占领。Its cubs would also be killed, and its territory would be occupied. 我亲身经历了没有守护我心——我的领地——的后果。I personally experienced the consequences of not guarding my heart – my own territory. 我算了一下,总共在属灵的监牢里整整待了一百天,很受压制。I calculated that I spent a hundred days in total in a spiritual prison after that, feeling greatly oppressed. 失去领地,And after I had lost the territory 没有保守好我的心,of the heart that I needed to guard, 家人、孩子、我被托付的家庭教会,都因此受损失。my family, my child, the home church that I had been entrusted with suffered. 那天我深受感动, I was deeply touched that day. 想到耶稣因爱牺牲在十字架上, Thinking about Jesus, who sacrificed His life on the cross out of love, 死而复活, rose again from the dead, 来恢复和拯救罪人的生命,祂呼召我们转向祂。and came to restore and save sinners' lives, and He calls us to turn to Him.  悔改、饶恕、祷告,夺回失去的领地!To repent, forgive, pray, and reclaim lost territory! 我也立定心志要夺回失去的领地。I am determined to reclaim lost territory. 我下定决心要回归神,信靠祂,而不是依赖我所见所闻。I made up my mind to return to putting my trust in God, not in what I see or hear.  但对我来说,活出这样的信心并不容易。But it is not easy for me to live out that faith. 神知道如何训练我。God knows how to train me.

今年3月13日晚上, On the evening of March 13th this year, 我的弟弟因涉嫌受贿被防贪部门带走隔离调查。my brother was taken away into isolation and investigation by the Anti-Corruption Commission.  他与一位参与政府工程项目的人有钱财往来。He had financial dealings with someone involved in a government engineering project. 我们无法与他联系, We were unable to reach out to him, 连律师都不能见他。and even his lawyer couldn't see him. 我们都不知道具体的细节, We didn't know the specific details, 心里就很忧愁、恐惶, and we were very worried and anxious. 可是无能为力。There was nothing we could do. 我的父母也都是基督徒, My parents are both Christian, 因此我们唯一能做的就是每天切切地祷告、呼求神并等候祂。so the only thing we could do was to pray earnestly and call upon God every day while waiting.

三个月后,6月9日,Three months later, on June 9th, 防贪部门的领导让我弟弟打电话回家。the leader of the Anti-Corruption Commission allowed my brother to make a phone call home. 我妈妈听到我弟弟虚弱的声音, My mum heard my brother's weak voice, 像大病的人, sounding like someone who was seriously ill, 非常担心。and she became very worried. 隔离调查快满三个月了, The isolation investigation had taken almost three months, 全家人开始感到压力和不安。and the whole family were starting to feel stressed and restless. 我想找律师,就关注了两个律师的公众号。I wanted to consult a lawyer so I followed two lawyers' public accounts.

Jane提醒我要专注于神的旨意。Jane reminded me to focus on God’s will. 6月12日, On June 12th, 防贪部门通知我们隔离调查要延长三个月。The Anti-Corruption Commission notified us that the isolation investigation would be extended another three months. 这意味着暂时不需要找律师。This meant that there was no need to consult a lawyer for the time being. 6月15日,我妈妈生日那天, On June 15th, my mum's birthday, 我父母都哭了。both my parents shed tears. 我知道他们承受着极大的压力。I knew they were under tremendous pressure. 我想起两周前我去超市。I remembered two weeks ago when I had gone to the supermarket 为青年查经小组买饼干时,to buy biscuits for the Youth bible group. 不知道该买哪种,于是祷告求主引导。I hadn't known which kind to buy, so I had prayed for the Lord's guidance. 最终我买了跟家里一模一样的饼干。I ended up buying the exact same ones we had at home. 神像在对我说:I felt like God was speaking to me: 难道神只是帮我买饼干的神吗? Is God the one who only helps me to buy biscuits? 如果神能引导我买东西,If God can guide my shopping,难道我弟弟的事情,神不掌管吗? Wouldn't He also be in control of my brother's situation? 是的,我相信祂掌管一切!Yes, I believe He is in control of everything! 那天我很有力量去安慰父母,That day, I felt empowered to comfort my parents, 不要忧愁,神永远掌权。telling them not to worry, as God is always in control.

尽管我每天都为弟弟祷告, Although I prayed for my brother every day, 但大多数时候,我仍然忧愁。most of the time I still felt troubled. 每当听到家里传来的消息时, Whenever I heard any news from my family, 我就会开始各种想象和论断, I would start imagining and judging various scenarios, 充满了惧怕、忧虑。which filled me with fear and anxiety. 家人也带来凶恶的信息, My family also brought me bad news 说弟弟面临着3-10年的刑期。that my brother could be facing a prison sentence of 3-10 years.

6月19日中午, At noon on June 19th, 我告诉Jane我弟弟的情况。I told Jane about my brother's situation. Jane纠正我说,我信靠的是自己的眼睛和耳朵,而不是寻求神的旨意。Jane warned me that I was trusting in my own eyes and ears instead of seeking God’s will. 她说She said, 若你都不知道你弟弟干了什么,你去找律师有什么用“What's the point of getting a lawyer if you don't even know what your brother has been doing?那只是浪费时间 It's just a waste of time.” 我说:“Raymond为福音被下监的时候, I said, "When Raymond was imprisoned for the gospel’s sake, 你也经历过这种内心煎熬呀!”you also went through all kinds of inner storms!" 但Jane说:But Jane said, 是的,她是经历了内心煎熬,Yes, she had inner storms,但她知道那是对她信心的考验。but she knew that was a testing of her faith.她否定了那些来自她眼睛和耳朵的不良感受,she denied her own bad feelings which came from her eyes and ears,信靠在主身上,and put her trust in the Lord,而不是环境或人身上。not in the situation or in people. 然后,她从神那里得到了巨大的平安、Then she received great peace,力量strength,和启示,and revelation from God,使她能够继续大有能力地服侍家里的教会。” which enabled her to continue to serve the home church powerfully.

然后我意识到我的祷告有一些问题。Then I realized that there were some issues with my prayers. 我问Jane如何为弟弟祷告。I asked Jane how to pray for my brother. Jane说:“你需要为自己祷告,否定自我的思想。Jane said, "You need to pray for yourself, deny the thoughts of the self. 因为当你相信人的话时, Because when you believe people's words, 你是在相信谎言, you are believing lies,没有人知道真相,只有神知道。no one knows the reality, only God. 神是公义的。God is just. 如果他犯了罪,If he had committed a crime,他将入狱,he will be put into jail,你可以请求怜悯,看神会怎么做,you can ask for mercy and see God what will do,但如果他没有犯罪,but if he hasn’t committed a crime,求神在这个案件中施行公义。” ask for God’s justice to rule in this case." Jane还指出我需要处理羞耻感。Jane also pointed out that I needed to deal with shame. 我承认,我更愿意相信弟弟是清白的, I admitted that I preferred to believe my brother was innocent 而不肯去面对最坏的结果。rather than face the worst outcome. 若弟弟被判刑, If my brother was to be sentenced, 将是整个家族的羞耻。it would bring shame to the entire family.

于是,我去禁食祷告,向神悔改。So, I began fasting and praying, repenting to God. 我求主赦免我信靠自己,I asked the Lord to forgive me for trusting in myself,相信人的话,believing people's words,相信谎言,believing lies,从谎言中得到虚假的安慰,receiving false comfort from lies,没有相信神的公义。and not believing in God’s justice. 我决心信靠神的公义, I made up my mind to trust in God's righteousness, 相信他断不以有罪为无罪。believing He would never leave the guilty unpunished. 人必须为自己的罪行或罪过承担后果。It is just for people to bear the consequences of their crimes or sins. 世上会有各种不公义的事情, There is injustice in the world, 但神是绝对公义的。but God is absolutely just. 不论最终的判决如何,Despite the final judgment, 我弃绝一切的羞耻感,I renounced all feelings of shame, 并祈祷我能选择爱弟弟,向他传福音。and prayed that I would choose to love my brother and share the gospel with him. 我祷告,坚信神的恩典是够用的, I prayed that I believed God's grace was sufficient, 祂会看顾我的父母和弟弟的三个小孩。and He would take care of my parents and my brother's three young children.

神还引导我阅读Jane最近的一篇讲道《保守你的心》。God also guided me to read Jane's recent sermon, "Guard Your Heart." 其中提到:It said: 如果你完全接受真理,If you fully embrace the truth 全心全意顺服真理,and wholeheartedly submit to the truth, 你将拥有平安和喜乐。you will have peace and joy. 申命记4:29说: Deuteronomy 4:29 says “但你们在那里要寻求耶和华你的神,你若尽心尽性寻求他,就必寻见。”But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul." 申命记6:5说:Deuteronomy 6:5 says, “你要尽心、尽性、尽力爱耶和华你的神。”"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." 申命记10:12箴言3:5说:Deuteronomy 10:12 and Proverbs 3:5 say, “你要尽心倚靠耶和华……”"Trust in the Lord with all your heart..." 英文中说要用你全部的心,meaning In English, it says to use your whole heart, 即你的整颗心,all of your heart, 用全部的心寻求神,your entire heart. Seek God with your whole heart, 尽心尽性爱主你的神,love the Lord with all your heart and soul, 尽心事奉主,serve the Lord with all your heart, 无论是福是祸,都服在神大能的手中,and submit to God's mighty hand in both good and bad times, 全心信靠和顺服祂。fully trusting and obeying Him.

我的心被这些话扎到。These words deeply pierced my heart. 我看到自己并没有完全相信神和祂的话语,I realized that I hadn't fully believed in God and His words. 我只是选择性地相信。I had only selectively believed. 很多时候,我只是想让神听我的,Many times, I had just wanted God to listen to me, 按照我的方式做事,to do things my way, 给我想要的东西。and to give me what I wanted. 那天,我诚心向主悔改,That day, I sincerely repented to the Lord, 求祂赦免我的不信。asking for His forgiveness for my unbelief. 我再次敞开心扉,I opened my heart again, 求祂掌管我的全人全心,asking Him to take control of my whole being and heart, 使我能全心全意地为祂而活。so that I might live wholeheartedly for Him.

神又引导我去读Jane在2011年的讲章:God also guided me to read Jane's sermon in 2011, “信心是火炼而成的”。"Faith is Refined by Fire." 这篇讲章有12000次点击,This sermon has 12,000 clicks, 是活水网站上点击量最高的讲章。making it the most viewed sermon on the Living Water website. Jane分享了在火炼的试验中如何认识神的作为和法则, Jane shared how she had come to understand God's works and principles through fiery trials 及如何靠主站立的经历。and how she had relied on the Lord to stand firm. 我重新去读时,As I reread it,更深看到自己走在错误的路上, I realized more deeply that I had been walking the wrong path, 没有走在信心的道路上。not the path of faith.

我们习惯于遇到难处时,到神面前来祷告呼求。We are accustomed to coming to God in prayer and supplication when we encounter difficulties. " “主啊,帮助我解决难题,Lord, help me solve my problems, 改变我的财务状况,change my financial situation, 医治我的疾病,heal my illness, 改变我的配偶, change my spouse, 我的孩子……” my children..." 在讲章中,In the sermon, 我的心被这些话敲打了:my heart was struck by these words: 如果我们对神的认识和信心只停留在健康和财务上等属世的利益, If our understanding of God and our faith only focuses on earthly benefits like health and wealth, 这种心态就是基于偶像崇拜的心, this mindset is based on idolatry, 不是真的认识神, not true knowledge of God, 不是真信心。 which is not true faith. 这样的信仰根基在患难来临时,必站立不住!Such faith, with its foundation in prosperity, will not stand firm when adversity comes. 

圣经告诉我们要时时做好准备,The Bible tells us to always be prepared, 火一样的试炼会临到我们,as all kinds of trials will come upon us 来试验我们的信心,to test our faith 看我们是真的信靠上帝,还是信自己。to see if we really trust in God or in ourselves. 约伯是一个敬畏上帝的义人, Job was a righteous man who feared God, 却遭遇了失去一切的打击。 yet he endured the loss of everything. 然而,他依然信靠神。However, he still trusted in God. 最后,经过信心的考验, Then, finally, after the testing of his faith, 他得到了比他所拥有的更多的东西。he received more than he had had previously. 上帝不是一个试图夺走我们东西的上帝,God isn’t a God who tries to take things away from us, 上帝更愿意我们在信上变得富足。 God wants us to become rich in faith. 经上记着,The bible says, 耶稣宁处贫穷,使我们成为富足。 Jesus deliberately became poor, for us to become rich. 雅James 2:5 告诉我们 tells us, 上帝从世上拣选了贫穷人,使他们在信上富足,God chose the poor from the world to be rich in faith, 好继承天国。so that they can inherit the Kingdom.

当我们面临真实或严峻的信仰考验时, when we face a real or severe testing of faith, 我首先要问自己,上帝是否还活着。 the first thing I must ask myself is if God is alive. 然后,我必须转向神的话语和旨意. Then I must turn to God’s Word and will而不是相信自己的想象和想法。rather than believe in my own imaginations and thoughts. 我必须预备好自己的心,为上帝放弃一切, I must prepare my heart to give up everything for God, 我的健康,my health, 孩子,children, 婚姻,marriage, 名誉甚至生命。 reputation and even my life. 并相信祂是爱,And believe that He is love, 祂是良善的。He is good. 祂是掌管一切。He is in charge of all.

作为基督徒,As Christians, 我们蒙召长成为儿子的模样, we’re called to grow in the image of the Son 为继承天国做好准备。and prepare ourselves for the inheritance of the Kingdom. 我们都需要经历试炼之路。 We all need to go through trials and temptations.

Proverbs17:3 箴 17:3 说,says, 鼎为炼银,炉为炼金;惟有耶和华熬炼人心。"The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold, and the Lord tests hearts." 神要除去我们各种各样的罪:God wants to remove various sins from us: 不信、unbelief, 急躁、impatience, 担忧、worry, 怒气、anger, 抱怨、complaining, 苦毒……bitterness... 神要把我们熬成有基督耶稣儿子顺服的信心。God wants to refine us into having the obedient faith of Christ Jesus' Son. “祂虽杀我,我仍要信祂。”"Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him." 耶稣被钉上十字架, Jesus was nailed to the cross 依然顺服至死,and still obeyed unto death; 这就是神儿子的信心。 this is the faith of God's Son. 但父使他从死里复活, But the Father raised him from the dead, 赐给他那超乎万名之上的名,and gave him the name that is above all names, 叫一切在天上的、地上的、地底下的,因这名无不屈膝。 and at this name, every knee shall bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth.

这些话都在一句一句地拷问我的心:These words made me question my heart one by one: 我到底在信什么?What am I really believing in? 信了耶稣,我到底要什么? What do I want after believing in Jesus? 我意识到所信的是自己想象出来的神, I realize that what I have believed in is a god out of my own imagination, 并不是圣洁、 not the holy, 公义、 righteous, 良善的救主。and good Savior. 我深深地向主悔改,I deeply repented before the Lord 并把关注的律师的公众号全部删除,and deleted the public accounts of the lawyers I was following. 我把一切所有都献在祭坛上。 I offered everything I have on the altar. 哪怕我的弟弟被判十年, Even if my brother is sentenced to ten years, 我的父母失去儿子, my parents lose their son, 我也不在他们身边,and I am not with them, 我一生要来服事主, I committed my life to serving the Lord, 全心全意来信靠你!trusting Him wholeheartedly! 我定意宣告相信神是爱,I declared my belief that God is love, 祂永远良善!and He is forever good!

就在我祷告之后的当天晚上,On the same evening after I had prayed, 家人接到防贪部门的电话,my family received a call from the Anti-Corruption Commission说可以去接我弟弟回家了。saying they were allowed to pick up my brother. 6月21日家人接到了我的弟弟。On June 21st, my family got him back home. 他被关押了整整一百天,He had been detained for a whole 100 days, 整个人瘦了四十斤,during which he lost 20 kilograms. 不过,他的高血压意外地得了医治。But out of the blue, his high blood pressure had been cured. 走出防贪部门的那刻,When he walked out of the Anti-Corruption Commission, 家人和弟弟抱头痛哭了很久很久。that was very emotional, both my family and my brother shed tears for a long time. 弟弟说,相关的款项已经退回,My brother mentioned that the related funds had been returned 因他不是国家工作人员,because he was not a government employee, 他被释放了。 leading to his release. 整个案件涉及到二十多人,The entire case involved over twenty people; 除他以外,其余所有人都移交检察院,提起公诉。everyone except him was transferred to the prosecutor's office for prosecution. 我和我的父母为着神的恩典和拯救,不断地献上感恩!My parents and I continue to give thanks for God's grace and salvation!

在我做完那个祷告后,为什么我弟弟在同一天就被释放了呢? How come my brother was released on the same day after I had said that prayer, 我的心从看人和看环境转向了神, in which I turned my heart from looking at people and circumstances to God? 我放下自己所有的想法, I laid down all my own thoughts 相信神的良善、to believe in His goodness, 公义、justice, 主权和爱,sovereignty, and love 然后就立刻发生了一件好事。and then immediately a good thing happened. 这是巧合吗?Is that a coincidence? 不,No! 但Daniel 4 但4告诉我们tells us, “至高者在人的国中掌权。”“The Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men” 我们的神在天地掌权。Our God is sovereign over the heavens and the earth. 他掌管万有!He reigns over all things! 祂配得我们全心全意地信靠顺服祂。 He deserves our wholehearted trust and obedience.


是的,主你活着,Yes, Lord, you are alive, 直活到永永远远。 living forever and ever. 你是复活得胜的君王,You are the victorious King of resurrection, 你永远良善,forever good, 你永远掌权,forever reigning, 你配得被尊崇,被高举!worthy of honour and exaltation! 一切的荣耀、All glory, 颂赞、 praise, 权柄、authority, 能力都归给宝座上的羔羊。and power belong to the Lamb on the throne. 主啊,谢谢你,流出你的宝血, Lord, thank you for shedding your precious blood, 为我的罪被钉上十字架。 nailed to the cross for my sins. You were condemned, 我得赦免,and I am forgiven; 你被咒诅, you were cursed, 我得祝福。 and I am blessed. 在十字架上,On the cross, 你完全地顺服,you obediently surrendered, 从未怀疑天父的爱。never doubting the Father's love. 你定意不成就自己的意思,You purposed not to follow your own will, 只成就父的旨意。but only the will of the Father. 因为神的旨意完全良善美好。Because God's will is completely good and beautiful.

当人失去自由时,When people lose their freedom, 才发现钱财、they realize that money, 房屋、homes, 人前的荣耀、worldly glory, 人的称赞,都不能救自己的命。and praise from others cannot save their lives. 而那信靠神的人,But those who trust in God, 即使被下在监里,even if imprisoned 即使死了,or facing death, 却可以仍旧说话。can still speak. 人触犯地上的法律,要忍受地上的刑罚。People who break earthly laws endure earthly punishment. 我岂能触犯神国法则,陷入原罪中, How can I, having violated the laws of God's kingdom and trapped in sin, 又怎么逃脱神公义的审判呢?escape the righteous judgment of God? 主啊,Lord, 我经历过属灵的监狱, I have experienced spiritual imprisonment, 在那里与神隔绝, where I was isolated from God 被仇敌魔鬼欺压。and oppressed by the enemy. 原来神的国度并不是无法的。 I now see that God's kingdom is not lawless.

让我们停下来,想一想,Let’s pause a minute and think about it, 你是否需要转向上帝? Do you need to turn to God? 如果你愿意, If you’d like, 可以跟着我做以下祷告: you can say this following prayer after me:

感谢耶稣你牺牲的爱。Thank You Jesus for Your sacrificial love. 感谢你不是来拯救义人,而是来拯救罪人。Thank You that You didn’t come to save the righteous but sinners. 请赦免我相信自己和世界的谎言,Please forgive me for believing in myself and the world's lies,而不是相信你和你的话语, instead of trusting in you and your words, 因此在我的环境中,我焦虑不安,so that in my circumstances I was anxious and agitated, 失去了平安。I lost peace. 这颗焦虑、不安、an anxious, unpeaceful 沮丧的心表明and depressed heart showed 我信靠了错误的对象,that I had put my trust in the wrong object, 而不是你-- not in You, 赐平安的全能神。 the almighty God who gives peace. 我回转向你, I turn to You 我求你赦免我,and ask you to forgive me 帮助我单单信靠你。and help me to put my trust in You alone. 我奉主名破除与苦毒、抱怨、不信的约定。I break any agreement with bitterness, complaints, unbelief. 感谢您复活的大能,让我重新活过来.Thank You for Your resurrective power to make me alive again…

"主啊,我们不至消灭是出于耶和华诸般的慈爱, “Lord, we are not consumed because of your unfailing love 是因你的怜悯不至断绝。and your mercies that never come to an end. 我们感谢你,你有赦罪之恩,We thank you for the grace of forgiveness, 为要让我敬畏你。which leads me to revere you. 主圣灵啊,Holy Spirit, 请帮助我们在我们的环境中信靠你的话语, help us to put our trust in Your words in our circumstances, 提醒我们最大的敌人不是别人,remind us that we have the biggest enemy which is not others 而是老我和它的旧思维方式。but the old self and its old ways of thinking. 引导我们保守己心,Guide us to guard our hearts不要让消极的想象支配我们的心,and not allow negative imaginations to rule over our hearts, 而是让你的真理在我们心中掌权。 but let Your truth reign in our hearts. 引导我们走在爱神爱人的路上。Guide us to walk in the way of loving God and loving others. 让我们成为你有用的器皿。"And make us useful vessels for Your use. ”


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