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2018-04-15 Marriage and Divorce (2) 婚姻和離婚(2)

管理员婧
发表于 2022-08-24

 (Matt 5:31-32)(太5:31-32

Last week we shared that God’s purpose for marriage上周我們分享了,神造婚姻的目的,is to make two become one under the headship of God Himself in unity and in love是使二人在神的灵引导下联合,在爱中成为一体, so that they may reflect His image through their marriage使夫妻藉着婚姻得以彰显祂的形像。Today, we will continue to look at 今天我们继续分享《马太福音531-32Matt 5:31-32. “It has been said又有话说:‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce人若休妻,就当给她休书.’ 32 But I tell you只是我告诉你们that anyone who divorces his wife凡休妻的, except for sexual immorality若不是为淫乱的缘故, makes her the victim of adultery就是叫她淫妇了, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery人若娶这被休的妇人,也是犯奸淫了.’

Last week we also shared that God looks at people’s hearts 上周我们还分享了——神看人看心. Jesus pointed out that a certificate was nothing主耶稣指出,给休书算不得什么,if the Pharisees used it just as a cover for their selfish desires to send their wives away若人休妻以休书掩盖自私的目的. Now, it raises a question那么问题来了, “Are we Christians permitted to divorce是否基督徒允许离婚?” So Jesus continued所以主耶稣继续说, “But I tell you只是我告诉你们that anyone who divorces his wife凡休妻的, except for sexual immorality若不是为淫乱的缘故, makes her the victim of adultery就是叫她淫妇了, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery人若娶这被休的妇人,也是犯奸淫了.”

1, Divorce is allowed when one partner of the marriage commits adultery婚姻一方不忠贞时可以离婚

The translated words “sexual immorality” comes from the Greek word “porneia”在这里所翻译的淫乱一词,来自希腊语’porneia’. It means sexual immorality性上的不道德, uncleanness不洁, indecency猥亵, misconduct行为不正, indiscretion or unfaithfulness不检点或者不忠的意思. In Mark 10:11-12《可1011-12, 11 He answered耶稣对他们说, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her凡休妻另娶的,就是犯奸淫,辜负他的妻子. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery妻子若离弃丈夫另嫁,也是犯奸淫了.”

We see that divorce is allowed here only when a husband or a wife are sexually unfaithful就是说,只有夫妻中的一方犯了不忠贞的情况下,才可以离婚. Despites God hating divorce尽管神恨恶离婚, yet because of His mercy但因祂的怜悯, He still has given us a legitimate reason for divorce仍然有允许有合法理由的离婚. In other words就是说, this passage shows that unless a Christian’s spouse has already committed adultery若基督徒的配偶出现淫乱的事,离婚是可以的. If a man divorces his wife若丈夫与妻子离婚, or a woman divorces her husband或妻子与丈夫离婚, they are responsible for making their spouses adulterers就要承担使对方成为奸淫者的责任, and if someone marries a divorced adulterers如果有人与这个离婚者结婚, they are automatically an adulterer themselves那人也自动成为了奸淫者. Wow, are these words too harsh哇,这是不是太苛刻了? they seem to be看起来好像是, but we believe that the goal of His commandments is love但我们信神的诫命总归是爱.

God loves us神爱我们, and He is holy祂是圣洁的, so He wants us to be holy like Him, our Father也要我们像父,成为圣洁. However只是, God’s commandments only apply to those who are Christians 神的诫命只是对我们基督徒的要求because we are called to be light and salt to this world因我们蒙召成为光和盐, they do not apply to those who are non-Christians不是对非基督徒的要求. But we apply God’s word still by God’s grace! 但还是在神恩典中进行!

We met cases in East Asia我们在东亚时遇到一些案例, when women came to accept Jesus who had been someone’s mistress有些做第三者的女人决志信了主. “What should I do我该怎么办呢?” They used to ask me and were very scared about their situation她们因自己的处境感到害怕,就会这样问我. Some of them had already had babies 因为其中有人已经与对方生了孩子,If we asked them to leave their men that they had relied on如果我们要求他们立刻离开她们依赖的男人, they wouldn’t have experienced God’s grace,她们就看不到神的恩典. So I told them于是我告诉他们, “Do nothing什么都不用做, but keep building your relationship with God in faith and in truth with a heart of repentance只要怀着悔改的心,靠信心与神建立关系, and wait on God in faith and prayers祷告等候神, we will continue to support you by prayers我们也会一直为你祷告. Then God will do something amazing in your circumstances神就会在你的环境中行奇妙的事, and then you will see那时你就会看到, that it’s by His grace and mercy那是靠神的恩典和怜悯. Not by your own works不是靠我们自己的工作. Because 1 Cor 7: 20 says, ‘each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him因(林前720)说:各人蒙召的时候是什么身份,仍要守住这身份.’” In every case无论哪个案例, we saw that it was God who pulled them out of their hard situation我们都看到是神使他们脱离困境,and saved them surely and blessed them with a new life拯救他们,赐给他们新的生命!

But for us可是, who are already Christians我们这些已做基督徒的, by the blood of Christ we’ve become a holy nation of God借着基督的宝血,我们成为神圣洁的国度, and by submitting to the Holy Spirit we can be sanctified by His truth靠着降服于圣灵,我们得以被真理洗净. We are light and salt to this world我们是世界的光、世上的盐! And we are ambassadors of reconciliation我们是和睦的大使. But when a divorce occurs但若发生离婚, a marriage relationship has failed and been broken发生婚姻关系的破裂, that’s evidence of brokenness 那就是破裂的证据and does not show the power of reconciliation in Christian marriages to this world而不是向世界见证神在基督徒婚姻中成就和睦大能的证据!

In 20092009, a brother who had advanced bowel cancer broke into my house with his wife 一位患晚期内科癌症的弟兄带着妻子闯进我家, and said他说, “we are gonna stay here, and we will not leave我们就住这儿了,哪儿都不去.” With the love of God带着上帝的爱, we accepted them and offered them everything they needed daily我们接待了他们,并供给他们一切日用所需. One day, he asked me有天他求我说, “Please ask God to heal me请为我求神医治我.” And I questioned him back, which I didn’t normally do我通常不会、但这次却少见地反问到, “What will you do, if God heals you. 神要医治你了,你要做什么?” He pointed to his wife and answered me determinedly他指着他的妻子,坚决地说, “First of all, I will divorce her我首先要和她离婚,Secondly, I will start earning money然后去赚钱。” I said to him我对他说, “God will never heal you 神不会医治你.” That’s ridiculous as a born-again Christian对一个重生基督徒来说,实在太荒诞了! There are lots of stories I don’t have enough time to tell in detail当中还有很多细节不够时间讲.

One day, I said to him又有一天,我对他说, “it’s better for you to confess your sins before you die你最好在去见主前认罪悔改, so that you may be forgiven your sins使罪得赦免.” He confessed lots of sins like stolen money from his work place, and so on他就承认了许多犯下的罪,诸如偷窃单位的钱财等等. But the Holy Spirit urged me to ask但圣灵催促我继续问, “Did you ever sleep with prostitutes after you got married as a Christian husband你作为基督徒丈夫,婚后有没有和妓女睡觉? If so, confess it and the blood of Christ can wash you clean有的话就认罪,让基督的宝血洗净.”  He said, “no, I haven’t.”他说他没有。but in the night, a dream was sent to me但是夜里神给我一个梦, where he cuddled two prostitutes in his arms梦中他抱着两个妓女. In the morning, I said to him早上我问他, “why did you lie to me你为什么撒谎, God has given you an opportunity to repent神给你机会悔改, so that you would not be judged in the future使你将来免受审判, that’s His mercy towards you这是祂怜悯你…” And I told him what I had seen in the dream我告诉他那个梦, he suddenly cried and repented于是他就哭着悔改了. But later on, he asked me the same thing后来,他又再求我, “Please ask God to heal me请为我求神医治我.” “what will you do, if God heals you神要治好你了,你会做什么呢?” He pointed to his wife and answered me determinedly他指着妻子坚定地说, “First of all, I will divorce her. Secondly, I will start earning money. 第一件事是和她离婚,第二件事是去赚钱” I said to him, “God will never heal you.” 我告诉他神决不会医治他。The reason he was determined to divorce her was that she couldn’t make money for him让他坚决要离婚的原因竟然是妻子不能赚钱给他花, that’s really ridiculous这实在荒诞可笑!

One day, he went back to his home town with his wife有一天他和妻子回乡下, I was interceding and asking God to forgive him and give him an opportunity to turn back我正在为他代求,求主赦免他,给他机会回转. This was the most terrifying time that I’ve ever experienced in the presence of God那一次是我经历神同在最可怕的一次, I heard a voice, it sounded like thunder我听到一个如同打雷的声音, “Don’t pray for him anymore不要再为他祷告, I will take him away我要取走他.” I was in great awe of the presence of God神的同在使我敬畏! That same afternoon那天下午, I informed all the church co-workers that he was going to die soon我把他快离世的消息告诉教会同工, one person in the team didn’t believe this其中一个不信, because her heart said因她心里说, “he is just 33 years old, his son is just one year old他才33岁,孩子才一岁, how would God do this to him when He is love神是爱,怎可能让他这样死了. And some people also dreamed dreams, in which he was healed其他人不是梦到过他被医治了吗.” But early the following morning可是第二天凌晨, his Christian wife rang me 他的基督徒妻子打电话告诉我and said that her husband had died她丈夫去世了. At that moment, the whole church began to learn how to fear God那时全教会开始敬畏神.

1 John 5:16(约一5:16, If you see any brother or sister commit a sin that does not lead to death人若看见弟兄犯了不至于死的罪, you should pray and God will give them life就当为他祈求,神必将生命赐给他. I refer to those whose sin does not lead to death. There is a sin that leads to death有至于死的罪. I am not saying that you should pray about that我不说当为这罪祈求. Before God had brought those two cases in front of me在神使这两个案例发生以前, I hadn’t had any idea about “there is a sin that leads to death”. 我还不认识什么是至于死的罪But by ministering to those two brothers借着服事两位弟兄, this one一位是这位弟兄,and the one I talked about last time who died in strange circumstances at 39一位是上次提到在39岁时离奇死亡的那位, I have gained a little understanding of this verse我才对这节经文有了一点点认识. Because I found that these two cases have a common factor因两个案例有共同之处, which is that they were both married Christians都是已婚基督徒, and having an active relationship with God并和神有活泼的关系,  but keeping defiling the marriage bed却不停犯罪污秽婚姻的床, despite having an active relationship with God尽管他们和神有活泼的关系, they insisted on divorcing their wives who were faithful to them even to the point of death他们死都要和对自己忠心的妻子离婚. The one who died at 39至于那位39岁去世的弟兄, God had led me to proclaim to his wife 神让我在他去世前三年对他的妻子宣告that she would become a widow 3 years prior to his death她将做寡妇, this latest person God had banned me from praying for him 12 hours before he died至于这位弟兄,在他去世前12小时,神就禁止我为他祈求. Marriage is such a serious commitment in God’s eyes! 婚姻在神眼中是如此严肃的事!

2, Divorce is allowed when unmarried status is taken into account若离婚后保持单身,则离婚也许可

In Heb 13:4(来13:4)婚姻, “marriage should be honoured by all人人都当尊重, and the marriage bed kept pure床也不可污秽, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral因为苟合行淫的人,神必要审判.” Marriage is so precious in God’s eyes神看婚姻如此宝贵! If we honor marriage我们若尊重婚姻, we honor the Creator of marriage就是尊重婚姻的创造主. But for those who defile the marriage bed但污秽婚姻之床的人, God will judge神必要审判. Although God proclaims judgement尽管神宣告审判,yet He is full of mercy and love他仍然充满怜悯、慈爱,He sent His Only Son Christ Jesus to receive the punishment for our sins差遣独生爱子担当我们罪的刑罚. Now, how much more should we honor Him我们不是更该荣耀他、and not treat the blood of the covenant as unholy thing and insult the Spirit of grace不将他立约的血当做寻常、亵慢施恩的圣灵吗? (see Heb 10:29,见(来10:29)节) But God really wants us to receive a full reward if we do His will in His grace神何等愿意我们靠恩典遵行祂的旨意,使我们得着全备的赏赐呢!

As for divorce, God’s Word is clear神对离婚的指示是清楚明白的, “what God joined together, let no one separate (Matt 19:6). 神配合的,人不可分开。(太19:6下) Unless there has been a sexual unfaithfulness by one partner of the marriage除非婚姻中一方有不忠贞的行为. But what if a Christian just can’t stand to remain in the marriage because one marriage partner violently abuses the other但要是基督徒承受无法忍受的家暴, or one of them indulges in all kinds of addictions continually and doesn’t take responsibility for their family或是对方是长期的瘾君子、不能对家庭负责,该如何行呢? God is merciful enough神真是怜悯的! If there is no sexual sin若不是因为淫乱, but a Christian just can’t remain in the marriage而基督徒不能持守婚姻, the Bible does allow divorce圣经说可以离婚, but in that case但这种情况下, they should remain unmarried (single)基督徒不该再婚(保持单身). Let’s look at 1 Cor 7:10-11(林前7:10-11, a wife must not separate from her husband妻子不可离开丈夫. But if she does若是离开了, she must remain unmarried 不可再嫁, or else be reconciled to her husband或是仍同丈夫和好。

We are now Christians我们是基督徒, who are Christ’s followers! 是跟从基督的人!The holy and blessed nation of God! 是神圣洁蒙福的国度!Marriage is such a serious covenant before God. 神看婚姻是极其严肃的盟约!If we want to honor God我们若要荣耀神, and reflect Jesus to this world向世界显明耶稣基督, we must obey God’s Word like our Lord Christ did就要象主一样遵从神的道. So young people因此,年青人, before we get into a marriage, we should be serious我们进入婚姻时要严肃看待。And before you make the decision to marry决定要结婚前, it’s better for you to take it to the presence of God最好将这个决定带到主前,and seek His will to see if the person is from God or not寻求这是否出于神. Because God has promised that 因为神说,“you will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. Jer 29:13”你们寻求我,若专心寻求我,就必寻见。(耶29:13 When you seek God with all your heart你若专心寻求祂, and put your trust in Him信靠祂, He will reveal His will to you祂必会将祂的旨意启示给你.

We had lots of young people who married in the home church我们家庭教会里很多年轻人进入婚姻, and there was not even one case when God didn’t reveal His will to them没有一例是没有神的启示的, in every case God affirmed in various ways whether it was from Him or not神会用各种方式启示是否出于神when His people kept seeking His will只要神的子民不停寻求祂旨意. So that when they met difficulties and pain in their marriages因此当他们在婚姻里遇到困难和苦楚, they were able to believe that it was the will of God to refine them through their spouses to be more like Christ他们就能相信神要借着配偶熬炼他们更象基督,and be more accepting and more loving就更有接纳和爱。Marriage is not easy and sometimes it’s hard work婚姻并不容易,有时甚至很难, without God’s maintaining and renewing work in our marriages若没有神在婚姻中托住和更新, how can we maintain a good marriage in our old-flesh我们靠旧人怎能经营好婚姻?

I also witnessed that some Christians really couldn’t stay in their marriages我也看到一些基督徒真的无力留在婚姻里, although their spouses hadn’t committed any sexual sin尽管配偶并没有不忠的行为, they still divorced他们还是离婚了. But God is merciful enough但神真是怜悯, and by His grace they remained in a single status以恩典保守他们没有再婚. some of them wanted to get married again initially其中部分人刚开始因孤独想再婚, because of loneliness, but after seeking out God’s Word and His will for years但当他们多年寻求神的话,愿遵行神的旨意, their passion turned to seeking God’s kingdom and His righteousness他们的情感转向寻求神的国、神的义. And God really didn’t give them another marriage神也真的没有再赐一段婚姻。

3, To marry again is allowed when one marriage partner dies婚姻一方离世,另一方可再婚

In 1 Corinthians 7:39(林前739, A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives丈夫活着的时候,妻子是被约束的. If the husband dies丈夫若死了, she is free to be married to whom she wishes妻子就可以自由,随意再嫁, only in the Lord只是要嫁这在主里面的人。From this verse, we see that God allows His people to marry a Christian again after the death of a spouse这段经文告诉我们,神允许子民丧偶后再婚. When a spouse dies, the bond of the covenant is finished丈夫死了,婚约的约束就告终结. They are free to married again, only in the Lord. 妻子可随意再嫁,只是嫁在主里的人。

4, God’s heart to bring Reconciliation to our marriages神的心意是婚姻和睦

For those Christians who have an unbelieving spouse, who wants to leave. 对那些配偶不信主的基督徒,对方要离婚的,the bible says圣经说, “But if the unbeliever leaves倘若那不信的人要离去, let him do so就由他去吧. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances无论是弟兄,是姐妹,遇着这样的事都不必拘束1 Cor 7:15(林前7:15But it continually teaches us但接下来又教导说, that God has called us to live in peace神召我们原是要我们和睦. God is the God of reconciliation神是成就和睦的神, He called us to live in reconciliation祂召我们住在和睦里! And here it continually says于是圣经又继续说, “how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband你这作妻子的,怎么知道不能救你的丈夫呢? Or how do you know, husband whether you will save your wife你这作丈夫的,怎么知道不能救你的妻子呢?”

Thus, from this verse这样看来, we can see God’s intention for marriage is not divorce but reconciliation这经文里说神对婚姻的旨意不是离婚,而是和睦, even if the spouse is an unbeliever就算配偶不信主, because God is able to reconcile and put any broken marriage relationship together again因神有成就和睦的能力,也能使破裂的婚姻复合. We have seen lots of touching stories about love in East Asia在东亚我们看到很多感人的故事, when one marriage partner had been sexually unfaithful即使婚姻中的一方不忠贞, yet because the other remained faithful to God但因为另一方爱主, despite pain and tears虽痛苦流泪, they died to their own natural reactions他们却向自己的天然反应死, and they shared in Christ’s unfailing love to forgive and love their betrayers在基督无止尽的爱里,去饶恕、去爱不忠的一方, eventually, God amazingly restored their marriages最终,神在他们的婚姻中施行奇妙的修复工作。

In the bible there is a prophet named Hosea圣经中记载了一位先知,名叫何西啊, from the book of Hosea, we know that God commanded him to marry a prostitute named Gomer《何西阿书》中记载神命令他去娶妓女歌篾, “when the Lord first spoke through Hosea耶和华初次与何西阿说话, the Lord said to Hosea对他说, “Go, take to yourself a wife of whoredom你去娶淫妇为妻 and have children of whoredom也收那从淫乱所生的儿女, for the land commits great whoredom by forsaking the Lord因为这地大行淫乱,离弃耶和华. Hosea 1:2(何1:2

Hosea married Gomer何西阿娶了歌篾, no doubt hoping that she would give up her sin and be devoted only to him- the husband毫无疑问他希望歌篾离弃罪,对丈夫专一, but she remained unfaithful可歌篾持续地不忠. Gomer left Hosea to be a prostitute后来歌篾离开何西阿成为妓女, and went with another man和别的男人跑了, but Hosea looked for her 但何西阿四处寻找她and forgave her饶恕了她and brought her back by paying the price并付赎金将她赎回, and he continued to be her husband他仍作歌篾的丈夫。 In Hosea 3:1(何3:1, “The LORD said to me耶和华对我说, "Go, show your love to your wife again你再去爱一个淫妇, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress就是她情人所爱的. Love her as the LORD loves the Israelites好像以色列人, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes虽然偏向别神,喜爱葡萄饼,耶和华还是爱他们." So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and about a homer and a lethek of barley我便用银子十五舍客勒,大麦一贺梅珥半,买她归我. 3 Then I told her我对她说, “You are to live with me many days你当多日为我独居; you must not be a prostitute or be intimate with any man不可行淫,不可归别人为妻, and I will live with you我向你也必这样.”

Just as Hosea redeemed his unfaithful wife and brought her back with a price就在何西阿付钱赎回不忠的妻子后, and he continued to seek a relationship with her by forgiving, accepting and loving her他继续以饶恕、接纳、慈爱来建立与妻子的关系. Our Lord Jesus Christ also redeemed us主耶稣也赎回了我们 - his church by shedding his precious blood流宝血买赎祂的教会, no one of us deserves His sacrifice我们没有人配得祂的牺牲, not even one of us was faithful and clean没有人忠贞清白, we all like sheep have gone astray我们都如羊走迷, each of us has turned to his own way各人偏行己路(Isaiah 53:6 ,53:6, we all hurt him, and betrayed him我们全都伤害他出卖他, but He keeps forgiving us他却一直饶恕我们, taking us back from our own ways领我们离开自己的道路, showing His unending love to us向我们表明长阔高深的爱, and working within us在我们里面不停动工, and continues to be the husband to His church仍然作教会的丈夫, and never forsakes His bride永不离弃祂的新妇。

Despite the deep pain Hosea endured尽管何西阿承受了痛, he surely made God’s undying love visible to his unfaithful wife and to us他实在是将神不灭的爱显明给了他不忠的妻子和我们, what should we do in our marriage我们该在婚姻里如何做呢? What kind of example should we bring to this world through our marriage借着我们的婚姻该怎样给这个世界一个榜样呢? We are His ambassadors我们是祂的大使, and He wants to show this undying love through us to our spouses, our families, and the world祂愿藉着我们向我们的配偶、家庭、世界表明祂不灭的爱. Do you allow Him你是否愿意,to forgive and love through you 祂藉着你饶恕、疼爱those whom you think are unfaithful and also your enemies那些对你不忠的人、和你的仇敌?  just as He did for you 正如主那样对你……

The story of Hosea is a picture of God’s amazing love for us何西阿的故事,是神对我们奇妙之爱的写照, just as Hosea brought back his wife with all he had had就如何西阿用尽所有赎回妻子, Jesus Christ paid the price for purchasing us back by pouring out his life onto death主耶稣也倾倒全部生命以至于死,把我们赎回! If we have faith in Jesus Christ我们若信主耶稣, and accept this amazing love接受这份奇妙大爱, and also pass this amazing love onto our betrayers in faith也靠信心把这爱传递给出卖我们的人, we manifest the love of Christ to this world我们就向世界显明基督的爱!

 

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