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2018-04-08 Marriage and Divorce (1)婚姻和离婚(1)

管理员婧
发表于 2022-08-29

 (Matt 5:31-32)(太5:31-32)

Have you had a good rest after the Easter Holidays? 复活节假期过后你有很好的休息吗?I Hope that your energy has been restored in the Lord during the holidays 希望在假期间主给你加了力量. Now, we will continue working on the book of Matthew现在,我们将继续分享马太福音. Let’s recall what we learnt a week ago让我们回忆一下一周前我们所学的. In Matthew chapter 5在马太福音第五章, our Lord is confronting the Pharisees and telling them that their righteousness by observing the law in their flesh is inadequate我们的主面对法利赛人,告诉他们靠他们的肉体遵守律法而得来的义是不够的. Because God looks at people’s hearts因为神看的是人的心!Holding unresolved anger is as bad as murder in God’s eyes怀着恨人的怒气在上帝眼中跟杀人一样, holding lustful desires is committing adultery in God’s eyes怀着情欲在上帝眼中跟淫乱一样。God is looking for a humble and obedient attitude so that we can abide in His word神看重的是我们内心有谦卑顺服的态度,住在他的话里被他的话引导, not based on “I” “my” “me” 而不总是以“我”,“我的”,“我”为出发点, so that our righteousness may surpass the righteousness of the Pharisees以使我们的义可超过法利赛人的义。

 

Today, we are looking at the next topic “divorce” 今天,我们要来看看下一个话题“离婚”. But before we go to the topic of “whether divorce is permitted by God” 但在我们进入“是否神同意离婚”这个话题以前, we are going to look at the subject of marriage我们要来看看婚姻这个主题. And we will split up the bible verses to share twice 并且我们要把这两节经文分成两次来分享, this Sunday and next Sunday这周和下主日, let’s read Matt 531-32,让我们来读 马 5:31-32

Matthew 5:31-32  “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’[a] 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. 马太531-32 “又有话说:‘人若休妻,就当给她休书。’ 32 只是我告诉你们,凡休妻的,若不是为淫乱的缘故,就是叫她作淫妇了;人若娶这被休的妇人,也是犯奸淫了。”

let’s see firstly 让我们先看:

1, Divorce is a universal problem 离婚是全球性的问题

Divorce has also become a universal problem in the world. At 2017-18 the divorce rate in the U.S. is at 53%, which is still high2017年至18年间,美国的离婚率为53%,仍然高居不下。France – divorce 55%. 法国 - 离婚55%。 In 2009, one third of NZ marriages ended in divorce, which isn’t the worst2009年,新西兰三分之一的已婚夫妇以离婚告终,这并不是最糟糕的. The highest divorce rate is in Belgium at 71%.离婚率最高的是比利时,为71%。 

Research shows that divorce can affect people both mentally and physically, it can cause anxiety, depression, weight changes, high blood pressure, and insomnia (sleeplessness), and so on研究表明,离婚可以影响人们的身心健康,可引起焦虑,抑郁,体重变化,高血压和失眠(失眠)等, which may raise the risk for people to be more dependent on cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs. 这还会增加人们更多依赖香烟, 酒精或药物的风险。 A study published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior found健康与社会行为杂志”发表的一项研究发现,that divorced or widowed people have 20% more chronic health conditions (such as heart disease, diabetes, and cancer) than people who are married离婚或丧偶的人比已婚的人有更多的慢性健康疾病(如心脏病,糖尿病和癌症)。Children experience a wide range of emotional reactions, including sadness, anger, loneliness, rejection, fear, and depression and so on. And they may seek intimacy elsewhere. 儿童会经历各种各样的不良情绪反应,包括悲伤,愤怒,孤独,拒绝,惧怕和抑郁等等。他们可能会在其他地方寻求亲密关系。

2, The perfect plan for marriage has been ruined in the fallen world 完美的婚姻计划被这堕落的世界破坏

From the bible, we know that marriage was made by God从圣经,我们知道婚姻是上帝创造的!In the beginning God created Adam, and then God made a woman from a rib He had taken out from Adam! 从起初上帝创造了亚当,然后上帝从亚当身上取出的一根肋骨造了一个女人, “for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Gen 2:24” 【创2:24】因此,人要离开父母与妻子连合,二人成为一体。In Mark 10:9, Jesus says, “therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” 【可10:9】所以, 神配合的,人不可分开。There's no doubt that it is God who made marriage. In Gen 2, even there was a sinless man, in perfect fellowship with God and in a perfect environment, wasn’t that enough? 在创世记第二章,我们看到即便是一个无罪的人,并且与神完美的交通和完美的环境,这足够了吗? God said, “it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” 【创2:18】耶和华 神说:“那人独居不好,我要为他造一个配偶帮助他。”A helper”, do you reckon that a woman really can help a man naturally“帮手,你认为一个女人真的可以帮助一个男人吗?

I’ll show you a picture that I took at a roadside outside of a restaurant. 我给大家看一张 我在餐厅路边拍的照片 “A sign board”, it says, “Marriage is when a man loses his Batchelors degree and a woman gets her master’s degree.” 一块板上写着说:“婚姻是一个男人失去了他的学士(这个字英文还有一个意思是单生汉)学位,而一个女人获得了她的硕士(这个字英文还有一个意思是主人)学位”。 This reveals a truth that in her fallen nature a woman completely forfeits (loses) her function of being a helper to her husband这揭示了一个真理:在人堕落的自然天性中,一个女人完全丧失了她作为丈夫帮手的功能, instead, she tries to control and manipulate her husband out of fear, insecurity and all kinds of sins相反,因为恐惧,不安全和堕落天性中的各种罪恶,她试图控制和操纵她的丈夫, which can become a devastating power to be used by Satan to destroy the covenant of marriage that God desires这会被撒旦利用,成为摧毁婚姻的毁灭性力量,这跟上帝期望相反。

Do you know why?你知道为什么吗? Because the original word “helper” for a woman to her husband is the Hebrew term 'ezer. 因为一个女人做她丈夫的帮助,原文是希伯来词“ezer”。 It speaks of God helping它是说得到上帝的帮助. So it takes three to make the originally designed marriage: God at the top, man and woman together to correspond to Him in unity and in His love所以上帝最初设计的婚姻是一个三角关系:上帝在上面,男人女人在下面一起因敬畏上帝被上帝引导并在上帝的爱中与上帝成为一体, and to reflect His image in their marriage并在他们的婚姻中反映上帝的形象. How怎样反应? By obeying the word of God with the guidance of His Spirit of truth. 在真理的圣灵指导下,遵守上帝的话。But Adam failed, since he disobeyed the word of God, and listened to Satan, the whole world has been led astray by the devil (see Re 12:9), 但是亚当失败了,因为他违背了上帝的话,并且听了撒但的话,整个世界都被魔鬼迷惑走迷路(见 启:129 disobedient to God, and the generational curse of divorce has come upon people’s marriages. 因着悖逆上帝的行为,家族离婚的诅咒就落到在人类的婚姻上。

In Deuteronomy chapter 28, v.30, “You shall betroth (pledge) a wife, but another man shall ravish her.” 申命记2830 你聘定了妻,别人必与她同房。This curse manifests in several ways including divorce, estranged relationships (married couples that no longer live together), family divisions, or lack of fellowship这种诅咒彰显为几种形式,包括离婚,疏远的夫妻关系(已婚夫妇不再住在一起),家庭分裂或缺乏亲密关系。In Asia, there are lots of witchdoctors, who can accurately foretell people whether they will divorce or not. 在亚洲,有很多巫医,可以准确预测人们是否会离婚。 When I was non-believer at 25 years old, I knew a psychiatrist, who was a colleague of my mums, working in a big mental hospital. 当我25岁时不信教时,我认识一位精神病医生,他是我妈妈的同事,在一家大型精神病院工作。 One day, this psychiatrist suddenly became a famous fortune teller. 有一天,这位精神病医生突然成了一位出名的算命先生。 Whenever he foretold some people that their marriages would break up because that had been destined, and it really did happen to them. 每当他预言一些人他们的婚姻会注定破裂时,这种事情也就确实地发生在他们身上了。 Once, I asked him curiously, how do you know?” 有一次,我好奇地问他:“你怎么知道的?He said to me that he could see what had been destined. ”他对我说,他能看到注定的东西。 That was unbelievable! But I couldnt find answers anywhere.  那真是难以置信! 但我无法在任何地方找到答案。Until I became a Christian直到我成为基督徒, one day一天, when I read the book of当我读到歌罗西书1:13-14 Colossians, 1: 13-14, For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins. 他救了我們脫離黑暗的權勢,把我們遷到他愛子的國裡;我們在愛子裡得蒙救贖,罪過得以赦免。 Suddenly the answer was given to me through this bible verse, because of iniquities and rebellion, we were once kept under the dominion of darkness, and generational curses, 突然,借着经文,我得到了答案,因为我们的罪和悖逆,我们曾被黑暗统治,被看守在历代家族诅咒之下,we suffered the consequences of our ancestors’ sins. Such as genetic diseases like heart disease, cancer, or diabetes and so on; genetic predispositions like addictions, some people somehow become alcoholics, and you find that their fathers or grandfathers were also alcoholics. 我们承受我们祖先的罪恶的后果。如遗传性疾病,像心脏病,癌症或糖尿病等都有遗传; 像成瘾有遗传倾向,有些人莫名其妙地变成酗酒者,你会发现他们的父亲或祖父也是酗酒者。The same for drug addictions, gambling addictions, they can pass through several generations. As well as divorce, an international study by a professor from two Universities in the USA has testified that divorce has the power to impact on a family genetics. 同样的吸毒成瘾,赌博成瘾,他们可以传递给几代人。还有离婚,美国两所大学的一位教授的国际研究也证实,离婚受家庭遗传权势的影响。

This has been universally happening because of the power of sin and rebellion that people live under. 由于人们生活在罪,悖逆的权下,所以这家族咒诅的事就普遍的发生。 But we thank our Lord Jesus但我们感谢我们的主耶稣基督! “Where sin increased, grace increased all the more Romans 5:20b 520下:罪在哪里显多,恩典就越发的显多 Jesus Christ, the Son of God, was hung on that cursed tree. He has given us an opportunity to repent, through the blood of His redemption, we are able to come out of our generational curses! Even if there is the generational curse of divorce. 神的儿子耶稣基督被挂在那受咒诅的木头上。他给了我们悔改的机会,借着救赎的宝血,我们能够从我们家族的诅咒中走出来!即便有离婚家族诅咒的。

3, The goal of “marriage – two will become one flesh” 婚姻的目的 二人成为一体

Let’s go back to Jesus’ teaching in Matt 5, 让我们回到主耶稣的教训Jesus said, “It has been said, anyone who divorce his wife must five her a certificate of divorce.” 耶稣说,又有话说,人若休妻,就当给她休书。 Which is written in the OT Deut 24:1 这是在申命记24:1, “If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house.” “人若娶妻以後,見她有什麼不合理的事,不喜悅她,就可以寫休書交在她手中,打發她離開夫家。

Does it mean that God prefers His people to break the covenant of marriage? 这是说神喜欢人离婚吗?No! God hates divorce! 神恨恶离婚!In Malachi 2:16 在玛拉基书, “I hate divorce.” Says the Lord God of Israel. 耶和華以色列的神說:「休妻的事和以強暴待妻的人,都是我所恨惡的。所以當謹守你們的心,不可行詭詐。這是萬軍之耶和華說的。」 But does God permit divorce但神应许离婚吗? Let’s see what the bible says让我们看看圣经. From Matt 19, we can know God’s will better从马太福音19章,我们可以更明白的知道神的心意. Matt 19:3,“Some Pharisees came to him to test him19:3.有法利赛人来试探耶稣说,They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?人无论什么缘故都可以休妻吗”  Their concern was about whether “is it lawful”他们所关心的是 “可以做吗”? which is referring outwardly observing God’s law这是指在外面守律法. For they thought that if they wrote a certificate to their wives, and gave it to their wives and sent them away, it was lawful, because they had done what the law required, and they had obeyed God’s law and had been righteous. 因为他们认为,如果他们向妻子们写一张纸,并交给她就可以将他们的妻子送走了,这是合法的,因为他们已经完成了法律所要求的事,并觉得他们也遵守了上帝的律法,是公义的。

But Jesus pointed out that the intent of obeying God’s commandments should not be just to do what we think is lawful outwardly. The Pharisees used this law as a cover for their selfishness, pretending to be righteous because they “legally”, had written a certificate for their wives, and sent them away from their houses. 但耶稣指出,遵行神的命令的目的不只是我们表面的做,可以不可以。法利赛人利用这法律作为他们私欲的掩护,假装自己是正义的,因为他们做了“合法”的事,就是给妻子写了纸让她们离开。God commands us to honor Him with all our hearts, all our thoughts, our motives and our attitudes, it needs to start from a pure heart before God! Jesus started to explain the Spirit of the Law. 上帝命令我们,要用我们全心,全意,全然洁净的动机和态度来尊重祂,这需要在上帝面前从洁净的心开始!所以主耶稣开始解释律法的精意 He said, “No” 他说,不是的 “v.4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 从第四节,耶 稣 回 答 说 : 那 起 初 造 人 的 , 是 造 男 造 女 , 5并 且 说 : 因 此 , 人 要 离 开 父 母 , 与 妻 子 连 合 , 二 人 成 为 一 体 。 这 经 你 们 没 有 念 过 麽 ? 6既 然 如 此 , 夫 妻 不 再 是 两 个 人 , 乃 是 一 体 的 了 。 所 以 , 神 配 合 的 , 人 不 可 分 开

Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Here are powerful words to describe marriage -  “two will become one flesh”. What does that mean? 因此神所配的,人不能分开。“这里有一个大有能力的词来形容婚姻 就是 二人成为一体“。那是什么意思?Actually, I didn’t 100% understand the meaning until two years ago, one day, God gave me a case to minister to.事实上,我没有真正明白这个意思,直到2年前,有一天,神带来一个人要我服事 One day, I dreamed a dream, in which I was desperately praying and crying for a young man, ‘Father, forgive him, don’t let him get under that woman’s financial curse, turn the financial curse into your loving discipline…in the meanwhile, God’s words “two will become one flesh” was sent to me…” 有一天,我梦到一个梦,在梦里我拼命的为一个年轻人哭泣,祈求'父啊,赦免他,不要让他受到那个女人的经济诅咒的牵连,求你把财务诅咒变成你的爱心管教......同时,上帝的“两人成为一体”的话显给我......I woke up, it was a such true feeling, I could tell it was not me but the Lord, because I had to admit that I didn’t have such a loving heart for that young man. And I didn’t even know anything about him. 我醒了,那是一种真实的感觉,我可以告诉你 那不是我,而是主,因为我不得不承认,我对那个年轻人没有这样的爱心。我甚至根本就不知道他的事情。But I was also touched by the Lord’s love who was desperately wanting to pull that young man out of his terrible situation. 但是我也被主的爱所感动,他是那样的要奋力把这个年轻人从他可怕的境况中拉出来。 So I prayed continually于是我就继续祷告, and I meditated on the verse “two will become one” that was sent to me并默写这显明给我的经文,“二人为一体”. I suddenly realised,一下子我明白了 “wow, that’s a very serious thing! God was telling me that when the young man had had a sexual relationship with the woman, these two individuals became united, that means that not only physically they became one flesh, but also emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, financially, and in every other way, these two became one. If it is not a marriage from God, it will bring trouble to us. “哇,这是何等严重的事!神在告诉我,当那年轻人与那女人发生性关系时,这两个人就联合,这意味着他们不仅在身体上联合,而且在情感上,精神上,智力上,经济上以及其他方面,都联合了。若这不是属于与神赐的婚姻,它会给我们带来麻烦。

Like that young man, at that moment, he was sharing in that woman’s family curse financially, emotionally, and spiritually. God’s word is very true! Several days later, that young man came to see me unexpectedly, and confessed that it was very true, that he had suffered from this unclean relationship financially, emotionally, and spiritually, and wanted to disengage from this unclean relationship. 就像那个年轻人一样,那个时候,他在财务上,情感上和精神上都参与了那个女人的家族诅咒。上帝的话是非常真实的!几天后,那个年轻人出人意料地来找我,并承认了他确实在经济,情感和精神方面遭受了 因这不洁的关系带给他的诅咒,他想要脱离这种不洁的关系。 The devil tried to seize him and didn’t let him go, but by the power of Jesus and His truth, and the willingness of repentance that the young man presented to the Lord, he was set free from that trouble! That’s why God commands us, “flee from sexual immorality.” If we obey God’s commandants, we are under the cover of God’s protection. 魔鬼试图抓住他并且不让他走,但是这个年轻人悔改了,借着主耶稣的大能和真理,他摆脱了捆锁!这就是为什么上帝命令我们“远避淫行”。若我们顺服神的命令,我们就可以在神的保护之下。Now, what does the bible says about “marriage - two becoming one flesh”?什么是圣经说的“婚姻-二人成为一体” Some of us are not married yet, but it is very important for us to know the prefect plan of marriage that God has designed for people! Some girls always imagine that they will find their Mr. Right. 我们中有些人还没结婚,但了解神为人们设计的完美婚姻计划对我们来说非常重要!有些女孩总是想象会找到她们的白马王子。And the Mr. Right will always care for them and give them a happy life并且这白马王子总是能照顾她们并给他们一个快乐人生. Unfortunately, the truth is always so cruel不幸的是,事实总是那样残酷. if Christians get into marriage with those unrealistic expectations, their marriages can’t survive如果基督徒存那些不切实际的期望结婚,他们的婚姻一定出问题。

When I married Raymond, we were both non- Christians当我嫁给Raymond, he had been chasing me patiently他一直耐心的追求, and I thought that he would spoil me我想他会宠我. When we got married当结了婚, the first thing I experienced was not being spoiled but having to make sacrifices我面对的第一件事不是被宠爱而是去舍己. For example比如, he loved red meat very much他喜欢红肉, especially lamb特别羊肉, but twenty years ago20年前, I hated eating red meat especially lamb我最讨厌羊肉. However但是, I had to join him in eating what I hated我必须去顺服吃他喜欢的. He failed in his investment financially, and I had to support him to come out of his trouble together 他投资失败,我必须去帮助他一起走出困境. That was the price to make the marriage work well even though we were non-Christians那时我们还不是基督徒时,为经验婚姻而要付的代价. And he also joined me in eating and doing what he hated他也一样来顺从我吃和做他曾讨厌的. But these can’t make “two become one flesh” that God designed for marriage biblically,但这并不能成为神圣经里说的“二人成为一体的婚姻“ for in the fallen nature’s pride,因为堕落罪人的骄傲 we easily ask for repayment from our spouses我们很容易要我们的配偶来偿还我们的付出, and become dissatisfied about what they are not doing for us并对对方没有为我们做的就不满意, “I’ve done this for you, but you didn’t do that for me.我为你做了这,你没有为我做那” Selfishness and self-centeredness separate us from the oneness that God desires us to have. 自私和自我中心 不能使我们成为 神所要的“成为一” Marriages are failing everywhere because people don’t know God’s plan for marriage, or have stopped following God’s plan 由于人们不知道上帝对婚姻的计划,或者人已不再跟随上帝的计划,所以在各地都看见婚姻的失败。But when we do marriage God’s way, we experience great blessing that is oneness with Christ the head of the church但是当我们以神的道来经营结婚时,我们可以经历到这婚姻的巨大祝福是 要与基督这教会的头成为一.

let’s see what the bible says about “two become one flesh”让我们来看圣经说的,“二人为一体”. In Eph 5: 22-33, wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…  we talk about wives first, for wives have the very important role of keeping a marriage healthy or not. V.22-24 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 22你 们 作 妻 子 的 , 当 顺 服 自 己 的 丈 夫 , 如 同 顺 服 主 。 23因 为 丈 夫 是 妻 子 的 头 , 如 同 基 督 是 教 会 的 头 ; 他 又 是 教 会 全 体 的 救 主 。 24教 会 怎 样 顺 服 基 督 , 妻 子 也 要 怎 样 凡 事 顺 服 丈 夫 。 I always hear wives say我经常听妻子们说, “my husband is not as holy as the Lord, if he is wrong, should I have to submit to him?”我的丈夫又不像基督那样圣洁,若果他做错了,我还要顺服他吗? Good question问的好! God never wants wives to be like “robots” to submit their husbands mindlessly! 上帝永远不希望妻子像“机器人”一样盲目地服从丈夫!God gives us free-will, but it was corrupted and turned to a rebellion, everyone tries to be like god - “I know everything. Listen to me.” Wives in the natural has lost their function of being the “helpers” to their husbands that God desired in the beginning. Because this “helper” is from God not from a woman herself! 上帝给了我们自由意志,但它犯罪悖逆堕落了,每个人都想像上帝一样 - “我知道一切。听我的 我是对的。“在天然人中的妻子失去了上帝所要的功能,就是成为丈夫的”帮助者”。因为这个“帮助”是来自上帝 而不是人自己!

Now现在, this is really good news to restore people’s marriages这实在是挽回人们的婚姻的好消息! By the redemption of Jesus Christ and His blood, wives as Christians have received the Spirit of truth, and they are able to be restored to their function of being “helpers” to their husbands in the Lord again! 通过耶稣基督和他的血的救赎,作为基督徒的妻子已经接受了真理的灵,并且他们能够恢复到他们在主里再次成为他们丈夫的“帮手”的功能! Through obeying God’s words, “submit yourselves to your husbands as to the Lord”, 通过顺从上帝的话,“顺服你们的丈夫,顺服耶和华”。 In fact事实上, it is calling wives to put their trust in the Lord by crucifying their rebellious flesh and its fears, insecurities and manipulations on the cross 这是呼召妻子们借着将他们的悖逆的天然私欲和恐惧,不安全感和操纵钉死在十字架上来信靠主, and then to be led by the Holy Spirit to respect and submit themselves to their husbands, and to wait for God’s work to be revealed然后被圣灵引导,尊重并顺服自己的丈夫,并等候神的工作的显明. Praise God for His perfect plan for marriage赞美神对婚姻的完美计划!

I have a powerful story to share with you 有一个故事我想和大家分享, and it really encouraged me at the beginning of my faith这故事在我信仰的起初实在鼓励了, and when I followed her steps of faith当我跟随了这信心的脚步, my marriage has been blessed我的婚姻充满了祝福, and when I shared this steps of faith with our home church’s wives而且当我把分享这个给家里教会的妻子们, over 13 years13年中, Ive seen that many women came to the church with a heart that wanted a divorce in the beginning, but when they started to follow this steps of faith我看见许多妻子们起初来教会,想和丈夫离婚的,但他们跟随了这个信心的脚步, they were reconciled to their husbands他们和丈夫和睦了. Here is the story这故事是, when Abraham and Sarah went down to Egypt当亚伯拉罕和撒拉下去埃及, he was afraid that he would be killed by the Egyptians because of his beautiful wife Sarah 他担心他会因为他美丽的妻子撒拉而被埃及人杀害。 So he asked Sarah to tell a lie that she was his sister not his wife. Just as he expected, when Pharaoh saw this beautiful woman, he took her into his house. What would a modern woman say to her husband if he did this to her? 所以他让撒拉说谎 说她是他的妹妹,而不是他的妻子。正如他所料,当法老看到这个美丽的女人时,他把她带去了他家。作为一位现代女性,如果丈夫对她做了这件事,她会对丈夫说些什么? “You timid man, you betrayed me to be taken by Pharaoh, you don’t know how to protect you wife, you are selfish! Ok, now I am no longer your wife…” “你这胆小鬼,你背叛了我,害我被法老夺起,你都不知道如何保护你的妻子,你这自私的人!好吧,现在我不再是你的妻子了......No! Sarah didn’t say that! 撒拉没有那样说Rather相反, she submitted to her husband, even though his decision was wrong, and she was taken away 她顺服了丈夫,即便丈夫的决定是错误的,而她又被人夺去了。 She still had a gentle and quiet spirit before God, this is what the Lord is looking for from Christian women. 她仍然在上帝面前有温柔安静的灵,这是主向基督徒女子们所要的。

1 Peter 3:3-6 makes this comment about Sarah 彼得前书这样描述撒拉, “3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. 你 们 作 妻 子 的 要 顺 服 自 己 的 丈 夫 ; 这 样 , 若 有 不 信 从 道 理 的 丈 夫 , 他 们 虽 然 不 听 道 , 也 可 以 因 妻 子 的 品 行 被 感 化 过 来 ; 2这 正 是 因 看 见 你 们 有 贞 洁 的 品 行 和 敬 畏 的 心 。 3你 们 不 要 以 外 面 的 辫 头 发 , 戴 金 饰 , 穿 美 衣 为 妆 饰 , 4只 要 以 里 面 存 着 长 久 温 柔 、 安 静 的 心 为 妆 饰 ; 这 在 神 面 前 是 极 宝 贵 的 。 5因 为 古 时 仰 赖 神 的 圣 洁 妇 人 正 是 以 此 为 妆 饰 , 顺 服 自 己 的 丈 夫 , 6就 如 撒 拉 听 从 亚 伯 拉 罕 , 称 他 为 主 。 你 们 若 行 善 , 不 因 恐 吓 而 害 怕 , 便 是 撒 拉 的 女 儿 了 。

Why can’t wives submit to their husbands when they feel that their husbands are wrong 为什么妻子在感到丈夫错的时候不能顺服丈夫? Because of fear, that they fear of suffering loss因为他们害怕,害怕承受损失, and that they forget that God is at the top of their marriage他们忘记了神是他们婚姻的头! But Sarah didn’t accept fear 但撒拉没有接受惧怕, nor blamed her husband nor counted his faults没有责怪和数算丈夫的不好. Rather反而, she put her trust in the Lord with a quiet spirit during her times of trouble在她的艰难中她在安静中信靠神. God is alive神是活着的! HE inflicted a serious disease on Pharaoh’s household祂用大灾击打了法老一家, so that Pharaoh realised that he had sinned against God法老就知道自己得罪了神, and returned Sarah to Abraham就把撒拉还给了亚伯拉罕. What a beautiful story it is何等美好的事! It began with man’s failure but ended up with God’s blessing and salvation这事从人的错误开始,却是神的祝福和救恩结束! Isn’t that the reflection of Jesus gospel 这不正是福音的故事吗?

In 1 Peter 3:1-2 says, wives, in the same way be submissive to your husband so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.在彼得前书31-2中说,你 们 作 妻 子 的 要 顺 服 自 己 的 丈 夫 ; 这 样 , 若 有 不 信 从 道 理 的 丈 夫 , 他 们 虽 然 不 听 道 , 也 可 以 因 妻 子 的 品 行 被 感 化 过 来 ; 2这 正 是 因 看 见 你 们 有 贞 洁 的 品 行 和 敬 畏 的 心。

Can you see看到了吗? The intention of this command is that by wives’ submission to their husbands in faith to God这条诫命的目的是,借着妻子在信心里对神的顺服而顺服丈夫, they may see God’s blessing and His salvation revealed他们就能看见神的赐福和救恩, so that both of them as a part of the body of Christ may be refined their faith and able to connect with the head who is Christ Jesus 因此作为基督身子的一部分,他们的信心被炼净,他们就能连于基督这头. And then two will become one in the headship of the Lord who is the head of all! 这样二人都成为基督头领导下的一体,而头是基督。 It’s not teaching wives to be simply submissive to their husbands in the flesh which makes them like robots 这不是教导妻子们单单的去在肉体里顺从自己的丈夫变成机器人! But it teaches us to put our trust in God and to connect with the Lord而是教导我们要信靠神,并连于基督, so that it may result in salvation and God’s blessing因此人就能看见救恩和神的祝福!That’s powerful!何等大能!God can turn any generational curses over marriages to abundant blessings if we obey His commandments! 若我们能遵行神的命令,神能使家族婚姻咒诅变祝福。

In the same way,同样的 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 你們做丈夫的,要愛你們的妻子,正如基督愛教會,為教會捨己。 It also teaches husbands这也教导丈夫们, that we need to make any necessary sacrifice for our wives’ wellbeing, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. 就是我们需要为我们的妻子的益处做出必要的牺牲,就像基督爱教会并为她舍己一样。

The Greek word for “love” here is a form of agape 希腊原文里 这个 爱 是agape. That’s not man kind of love这不是人的爱, but God’s kind of love而是神那样的爱 – selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional无私,奉献,和无条件. It’s a highest standard for man这对人的要求是高的, “Just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). 就如基督爱教会,为教会舍己” The love of Christ sacrificed himself on the Cross for His church, the love of a husband for his wife should also sacrifice his own personal interests on the cross for his wife. 基督的爱为他的教会,他在十字架上牺牲了自己,一个丈夫对妻子的爱,也应该是为他的妻子在十字架上牺牲他自己的个人利益。 Is that easy这容易吗? No! Unless the husband submits himself to the Lord and gives himself up for the Lord first, because such a selfless love is from our Lord Jesus not from the fallen nature! and when the love of Christ fills his heart, he will be able to love his wife in such a sacrificial way. 除非丈夫顺服于主,并且先把自己献给主,因为这样一种无私的爱单来自我们的主耶稣,并不是来自我们堕落的天然人!当基督的爱充满他的心时,他就能以这种牺牲的爱来爱他的妻子。

The goal of this love (agape) is like Christ’s goal for His church (His bride), which is to make her holy and blameless (see Eph 5:26-27). agape的爱的目标是像基督为他的教会舍己(祂的新娘)的目标,这就是使她成为圣洁无瑕的人(参见弗526-27Husbands can’t sanctify their wives丈夫不能使妻子成圣, but when husbands and wives together practice this truth in their marriage, they are being sanctified by the truth and becoming one under the headship of the Lord 但是当丈夫和妻子一起在婚姻中操练这个真理时,他们就会因真理成为圣洁,被基督这头引导. In other words, to fulfil the purpose of marriage of “two becoming one” husbands and wives as Christians should together submit to the headship of Jesus Christ, by obeying God’s words to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 换句话说,为了达到“两人成为一体”的丈夫和妻子的婚姻的目的,作为基督徒应当一起顺服耶稣基督这头的引导,借着遵行上帝的话,来“当存敬畏基督的心,彼此顺服。” Ephesians 5:21 5:21”. Wives should submit to their husbands with respect and be submissive to their husbands in faith as to the Lord. 妻子应当顺服丈夫,尊重他们的丈夫,如同顺服主。Husbands should submit to their wives with respect and give themselves up for them in faith, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for the church. 丈夫也当用尊重来顺从他们的妻子,并且凭着信心为他们舍己,就像基督爱教会并为教会舍己一样。

For example, a wife says, “It’s too late, I wanna turn off the light and sleep.” As her husband, although he still wants to read a book with the light on, but for the sake of reverence for Christ, he gives up his own interest, and also submits to his wife. 例如,一位妻子说:“太迟了,我想关掉灯光,睡觉。”作为她的丈夫,尽管他仍然想开灯读一本书,但为了尊重基督的缘故,他放弃了自己的想要,也顺服了他的妻子。But he prays in heart但他心里祷告, “Lord, you sacrificed your rights for accepting me as your beloved child, I also want to love you, but you said, “whoever has my commands and obeys them, is the one who loves me”. Your command for a husband is to love (agape) my wife. So I give this self-interest and own desire up onto your cross, and fill me with your sacrificial love (agape), let your (agape) love rule in me to love her…” “主啊,你舍了你的权利来接受我成为你爱的孩子,我也要爱你,可你说,”有我的命令并遵行的,就是爱我的“。你对丈夫的命令是用agape的爱来我的妻子, 那是用你的爱来爱她!所以我把我的兴趣和自己的愿望交在你的十字架上,求你的牺牲的爱(agape)充满我,让你的(agape)的爱在我内部掌权来爱她......

That’s the beautiful submission and love (agape) that Christ Jesus has demonstrated for us at the Cross! When we follow and practice this truth in our marriage, we may come to understand the profound mystery of how the bridegroom Christ Jesus loves His bride the church, and how the church submits to Christ. 这就是基督耶稣在十字架上为我们展示的荣美的顺服和agape的爱!当我们在婚姻中跟随并操练这个真理时,我们就能明白新郎基督耶稣如何爱他的新娘教会,和教会怎样顺服基督的这个奥秘。  

Thank God for His perfect plan for marriage that He has designed for us! 我们感谢神为祂所为我们制定的完美的婚姻计划! By putting ourselves under the headship of our Lord Jesus, and scarifying our selfish interests and rebellion on the cross with Christ to submit to one another in truth and in faith, we can understand God’s purpose for marriage that is not to make you happy but to make you holy借着把自己放在主耶稣这头的主权下,把我们自私的兴趣利益和悖逆与主同钉十字架,在真理和信心里操练彼此顺服,我们就能明白上帝对婚姻的旨意,婚姻不是为了让你快乐,而是为了让你成为圣洁!! To be oneness in the Lord and with the Lord! So that one day, when he returns, we may be able to share in the wedding of the Lamb as His radiant church, holy and blameless! 为要在主里成为一,并与主同在,以至于有一天,当主基督再来时,我们或许可以成为荣耀的教会,进入羔羊的婚宴,圣洁无瑕疵!This is God’s words for us today, we are going to share the next part of marriage and divorce next Sunday. 这是今天分享的神的话,我们下周继续分享这个婚姻和离婚的信息。

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