Testimony – Kane

发表于 2025-06-23

Hi everyone, I’m Kane Smith. I was born in Whangārei and now live in Christchurch. I’ve spent most of my adult life working in auditing, business, and raising a family. I’m a practical, disciplined person — very focused on responsibility, planning, and personal growth.

I was baptised as a Catholic as a baby and went to a Catholic school, but I didn’t feel much of a connection to faith at the time. Still, I was raised with strong family values — integrity, honesty, self-discipline, and a strong work ethic were key.

In my teenage years and early adulthood, I focused on achievement. I was into competive sport, loved structure, and thrived on setting and hitting goals — whether it was in study, sport, or wealth creation. I wasn’t rebelling against faith — I just didn’t think I needed it. I thought discipline and logic were enough to carry me. I didn’t pray, but I did reflect deeply, and I held tightly to values like self-control, loyalty, and perseverance. I thought, if I just worked hard and planned well, life would go how I wanted. I had several mentors. All supported this thinking, and my life was built on hard work, self-reliance, and striving to create a legacy.

At some point, I began to feel like something was missing — like everyone around me had a plan for success, but no one had a plan for meaning. I remembered an exercise I once did with a nun at a high school. She showed us a bike wheel and asked us to rate how we were doing in each area of life — things like relationships, physical health, etc. My spiritual spoke was practically flat. She looked at me and said, "Looks like you’ve got a flat tyre there, Kane. Better sort that out".

So in my late 20s and early 30s, I decided to give spiritual exploring a go — I figured that if performance in each area of life was tied to time spent, then I needed to dedicate about 20% of my time to spiritual growth — just to meet the conditions the nun had pointed out. That's when stuff started getting weird. It was like I became a piece in someone's game. In Hamilton, my Freemason meetings — which were meant to be regular — often clashed with work trips or strange interruptions. In Xiamen, I stepped inside a Buddhist temple, I was hit with sudden, sharp headaches that vanished the moment I stepped outside. In Kolkata, I visited a sacred site with a friend. Hundreds of men pressed tightly together. At one point, a group of men wearing nothing but white cloth undies locked eyes with me and rushed through the crowd. They tried to force me to touch a Hindu statue, two even climbing on top of the crowd to grab my arms. My friend and his dad were fighting with some other men in cloth undies. But then something unexplainable happened — a surge of strength rose up in me, and I pushed them back. It wasn’t mine. I kept thinking — why are they targeting me? Where did that strength come from? And why was the only Bengali phrase I knew “go away”? Which I shouted as I pushed them and they scattered. That moment stuck with me — not just because it was strange, but because it felt like a clear act of protection. These were just three of many experiences, but eventually, I began to recognise that the spiritual world was impacting the physical world.

In 2019, I decided I didn’t need to work on spirit. I thought it was a good opportunity to focus on the other four parts of life (knowledge, wealth, physical health and social wellbeing) because at that time my wife joined OTBC — she could handle the spiritual stuff. That was now her portfolio.

At the beginning of this year, things started piling up — business partners calling me back, with their key staff leaving, and my old boss leaning on me more and more. I had no time to train or study. My CV was the same at the start of 2025 as what it was in 2024. The kids had more after-school activities, and the babysitter wasn’t always available. And for the record — kids' cricket is far too long. We didn’t even have time for reading or maths together anymore. I felt failure approaching. Where is my wife, I thought? I was ready to burst. Outwardly, I was doing well. Inwardly, I was carrying too much.

Then I remembered a verse from high school: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest..." (Matthew 11:28). I used to think those people were the weak ones. Now I was one of them. My personal growth tracking looked fine — but I was exhausted.

The day came when it was logistically easier to attend OTBC. So I went. I had a chat with Jane. She prayed for me. I felt less burdened. One part of her prayer was, "Your [God's] plan for Kane." It made me realise I had probably been fighting Gods plan - Not a great one for me to fight against. Jane removed the pressure but kept the accountability. I realised I’d been relying on myself instead of God’s grace. It was an amazing feeling — but there was more than that here. I only came hoping for a moment of peace. But something felt different. Also, it wasn’t just the sermon or the prayer — it was the people, the atmosphere, the sense of welcome. It was a small, unexpected comfort, but it left a mark. I knew I would be back.

A couple of weeks later I attended again — and this time, something shifted. I didn’t just attend — I started to engage. I wasn’t just observing my wife’s faith journey from a distance anymore. I was stepping into one myself. The worship felt real. On that Monday night, I picked up the Bible and read a book at random. Then... a nightmare — my first since I was a child. It was about an old lady practicing witchcraft with bloody hand marks on the wall. I never usually dream, let alone have nightmares. I accidentally woke my wife. I told her quickly about the nightmare, hoping not to get scolded for waking her. But she wasn’t angry. She was excited. She messaged Jane straight away. That day my wife asked me to go to the Tuesday English class to meet Jane. Was this a ploy to get more teachers? Apparently not. Jane led a prayer of repentance for any ancestral witchcraft and a prayer of forgiveness.

Every night more dreams followed — 14 in total. Some had direction; others were a mystery. But Jane cared enough to ask about each one so we could pray through them together. My old mindset never placed value on dreams, but these weren’t coincidences anymore. If this is what happens after earnestly reading the Bible once — imagine what could happen after being baptised. I no longer need to fight when my plan does not align with God’s. I surrender.

Since then I have had time to reflect. I’ve realised: this is not an individual sport. It’s a team. And my wife’s team is at OTBC. When she was close to church, she was peaceful because she had others to worship with. At home, she was isolated. No one praying for her. She had to fight on her own. I was there — trying to make her stronger in the wrong way. I will join the team now.

I will be baptised at OTBC. I am still a spiritual baby, but this time I get baptised after I have seen the world, and I’m ready for the commitment. People say baptism is a public declaration that they will follow Gods ways, but for me, it's also about drawing closer to God and seeking clarity on His purpose for me - a closer connection. With my team at OTBC behind me, I can do it. Bring on the trials. All glory to God.

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