A Journey from Depending on People to Trusting God

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my testimony with you here at OTBC today.

My name is Zoe, and I'm from the Mission of Love Church in Shenzhen, China. Last week, my husband and I arrived in New Zealand. Throughout this journey, we have experienced God's amazing grace and faithfulness every step of the way.

I became a Christian at the Mission of Love Church when I was sixteen years old. This year marks twenty years of walking with the Lord. Although I was passionate about serving God, I also recognised how deeply sinful my old nature was. Looking back, I can only thank God for His patience in shaping and transforming me over these past twenty years. By His grace, I am no longer the person I used to be.

I grew up in a broken family. My parents divorced, both remarried, and I was raised mainly by my grandmother. Because of my childhood, I often felt insecure and believed my father owed me something. He was financially well off, so I tried to fill the emptiness in my heart by asking him for money. In my mind, receiving more money from him somehow made things feel fair, as though it could make up for what I had missed growing up.

As a result, before I turned twenty-eight, my life was in a mess. My thinking was confused, my priorities were wrong, and nothing seemed to go well. I struggled at work, lived with constant negativity, and often felt tired, discouraged, and unmotivated. I actually tried twice to come to New Zealand to study—the first time was in late 2012, during the first semester of my final year at university, and again in 2017. Both times, however, God closed the door.

Looking back now, I realise that my motives were completely wrong. My father had earned a PhD and was a successful businessman. I wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted people to admire me. I wanted my classmates to think highly of me and envy me for studying overseas. My heart was full of pride and vanity.

When childhood wounds and rejection are not healed by God's truth, the emptiness in our hearts will always look for something else to fill it. I had lost my true identity. Deep down, I believed that if my father spent at least one million RMB on me, it would prove that he really loved me.

At that time, I registered for the IELTS exam four times and sat it three times, but I never achieved the required overall score of 6.5. Eventually, I gave up before taking my final attempt. I also spent a huge amount of money on education agents, English courses, and one-on-one tutoring, hoping to improve my score. I applied to universities in New Zealand and received two offers, but neither was from a university in Christchurch. In the end, I gave up on my dream of studying overseas.

During my final semester at university, my father arranged an internship for me at a bank. I worked there for six months without pay. After graduation, while my classmates were actively applying for jobs, I simply stayed at home waiting for my father to find one for me. I depended on him to secure a good job for my future. Instead, he found me a position that paid little more than Shenzhen's minimum wage. I felt deeply disappointed and resentful.

In October 2015, God arranged for me to live with several sisters from the Mission of Love Church. One of them, Carol, became like an older sister to me. She faithfully encouraged me, introduced me to Jane's sermon recordings, prayed with me, and repeatedly reminded me that I needed to forgive my parents and stop depending on them for my sense of worth. But this stronghold had a deep hold on my life.

In 2016, after leaving the job my father had found for me, I decided to become an insurance salesperson. My aunt—my father's wife—had built a successful insurance business through my father's network of contacts. I assumed I could do the same. I expected my father to introduce his friends to me, and I dreamed of making a lot of money and earning people's respect.

But he didn't introduce a single client to me. After working for an entire year, I earned less than HK$10,000 in total and survived only by living off my savings.

That same year, my father told me about a seaside apartment development in another city that one of his friends was building. At the time, I complained that he owned so many properties but had never bought me a home in Shenzhen.

Without praying or seeking God's guidance, I immediately used the money my father gave me to buy a one-bedroom apartment there. However, he only paid the deposit—about RMB250,000—and expected me to repay the mortgage myself. He wanted me to become more responsible and independent.

For years, that mortgage became a heavy financial burden. I lived under constant financial pressure, while the property's value continued to fall until it was almost impossible to sell.

Then, in 2017, I wanted to study overseas once again. Deep down, my motive hadn't changed. I still wanted my father to spend money on me because I believed it would prove that he loved me.

Towards the end of 2017, Pastor Jane returned to Shenzhen and saw the condition I was in. She spoke very honestly and directly to me. She told me that I was full of pride. As the Bible says, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble" (1 Peter 5:5). She encouraged me to humble myself, stop chasing status and recognition, and simply find an ordinary job, starting from the bottom. She also led me through confession and repentance for many of the sins in my life.

That conversation became a turning point. From that day on, I stopped dreaming about studying overseas simply to prove my worth. I no longer wanted to pursue a life that made me look more successful than everyone else.

In February 2018, a brother from church named Peter invited me to work at his company, where he was one of the partners. As I prayed about the opportunity, God spoke to me through the example of Abraham. I sensed that God was calling me to leave behind my dependence on my family and learn to trust Him instead.

For many years, every time I tried to get something from my father, I ended up feeling hurt and disappointed. I had grown tired of living that way. So I made a decision before God that I would no longer ask my father for money—not even the traditional red packets at Chinese New Year.

In the past, whenever I visited my father, I secretly hoped he would give me some money. Looking back, I realise I was like a beggar, desperately searching for approval and love. Even my stepmother felt uncomfortable seeing me like that.

But God changed my heart. I was no longer a beggar before my father. Even though he had plenty of money, I realised I was a child of God. My identity was in Christ, and He was my Provider.

Later, whenever my father quietly tried to give me money, I would politely return it. Instead of expecting gifts from him, I began giving gifts to him during Chinese New Year and other special occasions. Little by little, he began to notice that I had changed.

I also learned that strongholds are not usually broken through a single prayer. Whenever I felt resentment, rejection, or a sense of unfairness, God used Carol and Pastor Guo to help me. They encouraged me to listen to Jane's sermons, pray prayers of forgiveness, and renounce the lies I had believed for so many years. Gradually, God renewed my mind. My thinking became clearer, and He helped me understand the struggles my father had faced. He restored my relationship with both of my parents. Instead of constantly looking to them for love, God taught me to take the initiative to love them and to give instead.

God also used Brother Peter to invest deeply in my life. As the General Manager of the company, he patiently mentored me and gave me many opportunities to grow. Under his leadership and God's guidance, I grew from being an ordinary office administrator to becoming the company's Deputy General Manager.

Through my work, I learned to depend on God rather than on people. Whenever I faced difficult situations, I learned to pray first and put God first. Time and time again, God gave me wisdom. On one occasion, He even gave me the solution to what seemed like an impossible project through a dream. The answer was incredibly simple, yet it solved a problem that no one else had been able to solve.

Then, in March 2024, the company voluntarily gave me a 20% shareholding, and the shares were officially transferred into my name.

Looking back, I can clearly see the difference. When I depended on people, I experienced rejection, disappointment, and deep hurt. I lost my dignity because I was always looking for people to give me what only God could give.

But when I chose to leave that darkness behind and put my trust in God, everything began to change. He strengthened my heart and became the One who opened the way before me. Step by step, He led me along a new path that completely transformed my life. As I learned to fear the Lord and delight in Him, I found that His blessings often came in ways I never expected.

Ever since I was young, I longed to have a loving and complete family. In our church, I had seen many marriages where God brought husbands and wives together without a long period of dating because they both recognised God's calling. I admired those marriages because I believed Jesus' words: "What God has joined together, let no one separate."

I prayed for many years, and it wasn't until I was nearly thirty-four that God answered that prayer.

Looking back now, I understand that when God doesn't give us something, it doesn't necessarily mean He is rejecting us. Often, it means He is preparing us.

When I was in my twenties, I had very high expectations of what my future husband should be like. Looking back, I'm so grateful God didn't give me a husband then. If He had, I would have placed all my expectations on him and depended on him in the same unhealthy way I had depended on my father. That would only have damaged our marriage.

God knew exactly when the right time was. Before He gave me the gift of marriage, He first prepared my heart.

My husband is an artist, and one of his paintings was even featured in China's national Chinese New Year Gala. Financially, however, he had very little savings.

By then, God had already done such a deep work in my life that my perspective had completely changed. Instead of focusing on what my husband didn't have, I began to appreciate the gifts God had given him. I have my weaknesses, and he has his. But what God has given him, I don't have, and what God has given me, he doesn't have. That's why the Bible describes us as members of one body. We complement one another.

We grew up in the same church, never imagining that one day we would become husband and wife. Looking back, we can only marvel at how wonderfully God was leading us all along.

Of course, married life isn't always easy, just as the sky isn't always blue. Over the past two and a half years of marriage, the Lord has continually taught us to forgive one another, love one another, and grow together. Through every season, He has been faithfully shaping us into one.

Ephesians 5:31 says, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."

God has taught me that in marriage, my husband and I are one. What belongs to me belongs to him. There is no longer "yours" and "mine"—everything belongs to us.

Proverbs 31:10–12 has also become one of my life goals: "A wife of noble character... her husband has full confidence in her... she brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."

God has shown me that a wife is called to help her husband through her own relationship with the Lord. As she walks closely with God, grows in wisdom, and serves Him faithfully, her husband can place his confidence in her.

Looking back, I can see that before God gave me a husband, He first gave me opportunities to serve in church. He taught me His Word, transformed my character, and poured His grace into my life so that one day I could encourage my husband to grow closer to Him. God's desire was not only to change me but also to build a family that would serve Him together.

Back in early 2016, I was appointed as the youth leader at our church. Sadly, because my heart was consumed with making money, building my insurance business, and preparing for IELTS, I simply completed my responsibilities without truly loving the young people God had entrusted to me. After the pandemic, many of our young people stopped coming to church, and our youth ministry became very small.

Then, at the end of 2023, Pastor Jane returned to Shenzhen and asked my husband, Saiven, to become my ministry assistant. Serving together changed everything. God filled our hearts with fresh love for the young people, and together we witnessed Him doing amazing things among them. 

Over the past two years, 23 young people were baptised.

Once again, God reminded me that ministry is never about what we can achieve ourselves, but about allowing Him to work through us. 

I'd like to show you some photos.

This photo was taken at the end of 2016, when Chris and Julie from OTBC came to visit MOLC.

The Youth Fellowship with Chris and Julie.

May 2017 – Group Photo After the Sunday Service.

Amanda, Priscilla, Zhenzhen, and I at Happy Valley.

Amanda was teaching me to play the guitar.

July 2018 – The OTBC team came to support the MOLC Sunday School ministry.

November 2024 – Chris and Julie with the MOLC Youth Fellowship.

December 2025 – Jane, Raymond, Bradley, Priscilla, Astrid, Alan Jamieson, together with the Youth Fellowship and the Sunday School children.

Then, on 22 December 2025, New Zealand announced its new six-point immigration policy. Under the new rules, anyone who completed a master's degree in New Zealand would receive the points needed to apply for permanent residency without first needing years of work experience.

As soon as Jane heard the news, she shared it with us and simply said, "Whoever God has appointed will be able to go." My first thought was, "This has nothing to do with me." I was married, I wasn't young anymore, we were planning to start a family, we had financial responsibilities, and both Saiven and I were heavily involved in work and ministry. Moving to New Zealand wasn't part of our plans at all.

Yet, before hearing that announcement, God had already spoken to me through a dream. In the dream, I achieved an IELTS score of 7.5. At first I dismissed it as just a random dream, but after hearing about the new immigration policy, I began to wonder whether God was actually calling us.

Not long afterwards, I had an opportunity to talk with Pastor Jane. She encouraged me to seek confirmation from God. She said that if this calling really came from Him, two things would happen. First, my father would willingly let me go. Second, although I hadn't studied English for eight years, God would enable me to achieve the IELTS score I needed.

I called my father immediately. To my surprise, he supported the idea wholeheartedly. Not only that, he even offered to support me financially without me asking. Earlier I mentioned that the apartment I had bought had lost much of its value. Even though the market price had dropped significantly, my father willingly covered the loss for me.

At that moment, I realised something beautiful. Years earlier, I had depended on my father and constantly felt disappointed. But after I learned to trust God instead, God restored our relationship and then chose to use my father as one of the ways He provided for me. I wasn't trusting in my father anymore. I was trusting in God, who can use anyone He chooses to care for His children.

Later that day, another confirmation came unexpectedly during a conversation at work. While we were chatting about travelling, God suddenly reminded me of something Jane had prophesied on 19 November 2023, when she publicly announced that Saiven and I were a couple. She shared a vision of the two of us driving a small car together. At the time she also said, "But it won't happen straight away. Maybe in a year or two."

Back then, I couldn't understand what she meant. Buying a car was always possible, but there was no real reason for us to own one. Our daily life in China didn't require a car, and it would have spent most of its time parked. I thought perhaps we might buy one after we had children, but then it wouldn't just be the two of us travelling together.

Now that we are living in New Zealand, however, having a car is almost essential. As we prepare to buy one, I can see that this prophecy is now being fulfilled here in New Zealand. Once again, God has shown that His plans are always ahead of ours.

By God's grace, I achieved the IELTS score of 6.5 that I needed. Ten years earlier, I had applied to the University of Canterbury twice but was not accepted. Now, in God's perfect timing, they accepted my application.

When I applied for university accommodation, all the couples' flats had already been allocated. Later, however, we were unexpectedly offered one. On top of that, I was awarded an NZ$8,000 Dean's Scholarship.

Even on our journey to Christchurch, God continued to show us His kindness. At the airport, we were unexpectedly upgraded to Premium seats at no extra cost. Again and again, when I wasn't seeking blessings for myself, God gave us far more than we expected.

Jesus said in Luke 6:38:

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

Leaving China, my greatest concern was my mum. But once again, God went ahead of me. He brought her to Shenzhen, provided her with a job, and opened the door for her to become part of a church family there. Because of God's faithfulness, I was able to leave China with complete peace, knowing that He would continue to care for her.

Looking back over this whole journey—from preparing for IELTS, receiving my university offer, obtaining our visas, finding accommodation, providing for our finances, caring for my family, rehoming our pets, and finally bringing us safely to Christchurch—I can only stand in awe of God's goodness. None of this happened because of my own ability. It happened because God is faithful.

Years ago, I wanted to come to New Zealand for my own ambitions—to prove myself, gain recognition, and seek my identity in people's approval. God lovingly closed that door. This time, He opened the door in His perfect timing. He brought me here not for my own glory, but for His purpose, His mission, and His Kingdom.

Another unexpected blessing is that God provided a job for my husband just one week after we had arrived in New Zealand. Last Sunday, Sister Ann introduced him to a job opportunity. He had the interview yesterday, and he got the job. We are so thankful for God’s faithful provision.

As Proverbs 3:5–6 reminds us:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight."

Today I know that God's timing is always perfect, His plans are always better than ours, and His grace is always sufficient.

To God alone be all the glory. Amen.