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发表于 2024-03-19


Hello everyone! Today I am here to give a testimony, but it's a testimony of my failure. 



I thank God, His mercy led me to repentance. It also enables me to stand again by His grace amidst my failure. 



During this year's New Year holiday, our family of six went to Shenzhen Love Mission Church. Originally, the plan was just to visit Pastor Fu and Auntie Ye's parents, as well as the church. However, upon arrival, we found many brothers and sisters had taken leave to welcome us. Sister Guo Airong even changed her ticket to visit her hometown to the afternoon. 




At noon, we were invited to a very luxurious restaurant for lunch. I was thinking, "Wow, how much money must this meal cost in Shenzhen?" 



During the meal, everyone was sharing testimonies, speaking of what God has done in their lives. 



After lunch, we went to visit the new home God had provided for Pastor Fu. 



We thought the visit would end after the tour, but there was another dinner waiting for us, prepared by another group of co-workers from the church.  



Their warm hospitality, treating us like family, even giving us many gifts. 



My son was well taken care of by Brother Wu, who kept serving him food, making the child feel loved.   



The next day, while having a meal with Sister Jiang Ying, my son learned to serve her by offering food. 



The next day, Li Xiguo took us on a one-day trip to Hong Kong, and Sister Jiang Ying, who lives in Hong Kong, accompanied us. Sister Jiang Ying covered most of the expenses. 



That evening, upon returning from Hong Kong, the Wei family arranged for a hotpot dinner at Hai Di Lao. 



At that moment, I was deeply moved by God's love. Who else would spend so much time, effort, and money to accompany us? 



I once again experienced the reality of God's great love. And I understood God's words, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you." 



I made a resolution: in 2024, I will spread God's love. 



I also shared this resolution in the small group. 



At the end of January, I returned to Christchurch and started working. I worked 10-12 hours a day, and on weekends, I had to do various chores at home, such as cleaning the garage and painting. Because I hadn't worked for a month, the mortgage was also weighing on me, and I felt a bit of pressure. 



Slowly, I forgot about God's promises and the stirring in my heart. 



I just focused on work, repaying the loan, and the house. 



Because when I bought the house, I had a covenant with God that it would be used by Him. Once things settled down, I felt it was time to host gatherings in my new house. 



So I told Sister Ye about my plan, to invite the Sunday afternoon gathering people for pancakes. 



Actually, at that time, I had already forgotten about the stirring God had caused in me during my time in Shenzhen. 



Sister Ye said, "You can also ask each family to bring a dish. It can save a lot of trouble." 



I agreed, thinking to myself, "There will probably be more than 40 people this time. I definitely can't handle it with just pancakes. Since the pastor said so, I'll go ahead with it." 



So I started sending notifications in the group, specifically telling everyone to bring more food because there were a lot of people, and also asking everyone to inform me of the number of people attending. 



Strangely, no one responded in the group chat. 



The Sunday gathering seemed fine, with a total of 49 people. Everyone was chatting happily, and the children were having a good time. 



However, throughout the process, I kept an eye on whether the pets might escape, whether the doors were closed properly, whether the children were damaging my belongings, and so on. 



After the gathering, I quickly finished dinner, tidied up a bit, and went to bed. 



On Monday morning, I woke up feeling sore all over, as if I were sick. By Tuesday evening, I tested positive for COVID-19. 



After reading the pastor's message, I realized I had failed in this matter. I did not obey the prompting of the Holy Spirit, offering everything and not asking the brothers and sisters to bring any food. Instead, I obeyed the fear of the flesh—fearing trouble, fearing I couldn't handle it, fearing spending money. As a result, I was attacked by the evil one, suffered losses, stayed home for three days, and lost a lot. 



Romans 6:16 says, "Do you not know that when you offer yourselves as obedient slaves, you are slaves to the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?" I obeyed the old ways of the old self, obeying Satan's temptation, disobeying God, delivering myself into the hands of the evil one, and being oppressed and attacked. 



Thinking back to two weeks ago, during Thursday night Bible study, when we discussed Jesus casting out demons in Gadara, those people wanted Jesus to leave when they saw the pigs drowned. God can either temporarily remove the pigs or give more pigs. We should not, for the sake of pigs, drive Jesus away. 



If I had obeyed the prompting of the Holy Spirit to do it this time, how great would God's blessing have been? This blessing includes physical, financial, and spiritual aspects.  



Instead, I lost that blessing due to obedience to the flesh. It's such a pity. 



Although I failed, I am thankful to God for His mercy, awakening me through the pastor to deal with sin so that I won't fail in the future.  



I repented before God, acknowledging that I have offended Him in this matter, and I am willing to overcome in this area.  



Thank God, after I repented, I took a test, and the result was negative. It had only been 24 hours since the clear positive result last time. I couldn't believe it happened so quickly. I understand even more that this matter is from God! It shows me that He is righteous and merciful. 

见证人:Zheng Li 


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