【诗84:5-6】靠你有力量、心中想往锡安大道的，这人便为有福！他们经过流泪谷，叫这谷变为泉源之地，并有秋雨之福盖满了全谷。【Psa 84:5-6】Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baka, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

《诗篇》84篇是一首朝圣者之歌。当他们前往耶路撒冷朝见神时，无论经历旷野、高山、炎热与干旱，那条从流泪谷到泉源之地的每一站，都是追求得胜的信徒在属灵征途中必须经历的十字架。Psalm 84 is a song of pilgrims. As they travelled to Jerusalem to meet with God, whether they passed through wildernesses, high mountains, intense heat, or drought, every stage of the journey from the Valley of Weeping to the place of springs represented a cross that believers seeking victory must pass through on their spiritual journey.主耶稣在客西马尼园也曾流泪哀哭，祂单单靠着圣灵的能力（靠祢有力量），在极大的苦难中，将顺服至死的生命活在了天使和世人面前。The Lord Jesus also wept and cried out in the Garden of Gethsemane. Depending entirely on the power of the Holy Spirit (“whose strength is in You”), He lived out a life of obedience unto death before angels and humanity in the midst of overwhelming suffering.祂凡事受过试炼，但祂因看见那摆在前面的喜乐和荣耀，就轻看了这十字架的苦楚（心中想往锡安大道）。He was tested in every way, yet because He saw the joy and glory set before Him, He regarded the suffering of the cross as nothing (“whose hearts are set on the highways to Zion”).

主啊，起初我被圣灵感动，似乎也曾热切地向往锡安，火热地跟随祢。可是走着走着，我不知不觉地偏离了祢十字架的道路。我不再否定自己，反而开始肯定自己、高举自己，靠着自己的力量去追寻人的称赞、肯定与爱。Lord, at the beginning I was moved by the Holy Spirit, and I too seemed to long deeply for Zion and follow You with passion. Yet as I carried on, I gradually and unknowingly moved away from the way of Your cross. I stopped denying myself and began instead to affirm and exalt myself, relying on my own strength to seek people’s praise, approval, and love.在婚姻里，我觉得祢配给我的丈夫不是我想要的那种，就常常恶言恶语、伤害丈夫，百般用老我的肉体和巫术去操纵丈夫，只为满足自己的私欲。In my marriage, I felt that the husband You had given me was not the kind of husband I wanted, so I often spoke cruel and hurtful words to him and used every means of my old sinful nature and witchcraft to control him, simply to satisfy my own desires.当得不着时，我就放纵心中的委屈与苦毒，恨人、不饶恕，甚至去看各种视频、小说，在情欲的幻想中麻醉自己，在心里做了淫妇……When I did not get what I wanted, I gave myself over to grievance and bitterness, hated others, refused to forgive, and even watched different videos and read novels, numbing myself through lustful fantasies and committing adultery in my heart…当我的破败显露在人前时，我却停留在那里不断挣扎，为自己辩解、讲理由，一味地自怨自艾，甚至自以为义地埋怨神、责怪人，彻底忘记了我活着的目标。When my brokenness was exposed before others, I stayed trapped there, constantly struggling, defending myself, giving excuses, sinking into self-pity, and even self-righteously complaining against God and blaming others. I completely forgot the purpose for which I was living.

失去了目标，我就失去了方向。主啊，我在哪里？我就像伊甸园里的亚当夏娃，犯了罪因害怕祢威严的荣光，就羞耻地躲在角落里，甚至想凭着自己做点事，快快来证明自己还有点用。When I lost sight of the goal, I also lost my direction. Lord, where am I? I am like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, who sinned and then hid in shame because they were afraid of the majesty of Your glory. I even wanted to do something in my own strength, quickly trying to prove that I was still useful in some way.主啊，谢谢祢借着牧者和弟兄姐妹不断地责备我、教导我、为我祈求；更谢谢祢赐下梦境直指我的本相，指出我心中充满了苦毒，每一天都在无情地浪费祢的资源——无论是时间、生命，还是住在我里面的圣灵和祢赐给我的恩典。Lord, thank You for continually rebuking, teaching, and praying for me through the pastor and the brothers and sisters. Even more, thank You for giving me dreams that directly exposed my true condition, showing that my heart was full of bitterness and that every day I was carelessly wasting the resources You had given me—whether time, life, the Holy Spirit who lives within me, or the grace You had given me.我每天没有喜乐、充满了怨恨苦毒，瞎了眼走在黑暗中……就像祢给我的那个梦：在黑暗、污秽的厕所里，全是大石头，很久都找不到出路，只能在里面痛苦地打圈圈，走不出来。我为罪受苦，所有的苦果都是我该得的，在祢公义的审判面前，我哑口无言。Each day I had no joy and was filled with resentment and bitterness, blindly walking in darkness… just like the dream You gave me: I was in a dark, filthy toilet filled with large stones, unable to find a way out for a long time, only going round and round in pain without being able to escape. I suffered because of sin, and all the bitter consequences were what I deserved. Before Your righteous judgement, I had no defence.

主啊，求祢怜悯我！求祢使我回转！当我听到祢的责备和训诲时，我的灵魂要向祢彻底回转。求祢照着祢的应许，求祢的灵大大浇灌我，让我麻木不仁的心彻底苏醒过来！Lord, please have mercy on me! Please bring me back! When I hear Your rebuke and instruction, may my soul turn fully back to You. According to Your promise, please pour out Your Spirit abundantly upon me and fully awaken my numb and unresponsive heart!求祢的话语向我开启、指示我，照着祢赐给我的梦，让祢真理的光穿透黑暗，使我看见祢指示给我的真正出路。Please open Your Word to me and show me the way. According to the dream You gave me, let the light of Your truth break through the darkness and help me see the true way out You are revealing to me.无论我过去浪费了多少时间、生命与机会，主啊，我都求祢宝血洗净我、赦免我，再次赐给我彻底回转、重新悔改的机会。No matter how much time, life, or how many opportunities I have wasted in the past, Lord, I ask that Your precious blood cleanse and forgive me, and that You give me another opportunity to turn back completely and repent afresh.求祢医治我，释放我，让我的心在祢的爱中活过来！求祢带领我跟那肮脏、打圈圈的自怜迷宫争战，让我的双脚重新回到祢为我预定的锡安大道上，重新再来过！Please heal and deliver me, and bring my heart back to life in Your love! Please lead me to fight against that filthy, endless maze of self-pity, so that my feet may return to the highway to Zion that You have prepared for me, and so that I may begin again!

（付传道和写经团队Pastor Fu and the Daily Devotional Team）