【诗88:13】耶和华啊，我呼求祢；早晨我的祷告要达到祢面前。【Psalm 88:13】But I cry to you for help, O LORD ; in the morning my prayer comes before you.

在被称为“圣经最黑暗哀歌”的诗篇88篇中，第13节是一抹撕裂黑夜的刺眼曙光。In Psalm 88, often called “the darkest lament in the Bible”, verse 13 is a piercing ray of dawn that tears through the night. 作者希曼在自幼以来的压制与极痛中，用残存的信心死死咬住“早晨”。Heman, the author, in the midst of lifelong oppression and extreme pain, clings desperately to “the morning” with the last remnant of faith. 这不仅是一行诗句，更是一条在属灵监牢中，用血泪、赞美、降服与忍耐拼死劈开的生路。This is not simply a line of poetry, but a path of life carved open in a spiritual prison through tears and blood, praise, surrender, and patient endurance.

我曾经骄傲，论断，顶撞牧者，被仇敌攻击，腿好像被射了一毒箭，骨头痛得终夜唉哼。一到晚上，天一黑，就好像黑暗权势掌权了，骨头痛得终夜唉哼。I was once proud, judgemental, and rebellious against the pastor. I was attacked by the enemy, and my leg felt as though it had been struck by a poisoned arrow. My bones ached so badly that I groaned through the night. As soon as evening came and darkness fell, it felt as though the powers of darkness had taken control, and my bones ached all night long.我的身体就像诗篇38篇里面形容的那样（第6、8、10节），我常常一整夜痛得无法合眼。那些日子，我拿着圣经，一个人跪在神的面前，哀求、祷告、思想，集中全部的思想呼求，求神光照我的罪，不让我的心思意念被痛楚拉走。My body was like what Psalm 38 describes (verses 6, 8, and 10), and I often could not sleep for an entire night because of the pain. During those days, I held the Bible and knelt alone before God, pleading, praying, meditating, and concentrating all my thoughts in crying out to Him, asking Him to shine His light on my sin and not allow my mind and thoughts to be dragged away by the pain. 整整28天，一到早上，痛楚就离开，我能明白诗人说：“我早晨的祷告要达到祢面前。”神虽然管教我，但总给我一条出路，叫我忍受得住……For twenty-eight full days, as soon as morning came, the pain would leave. I could understand what the psalmist meant when he said: “In the morning my prayer comes before You.” Although God disciplined me, He always gave me a way out so that I could endure…

主啊，我感谢祢，让我明白罪的权势。骄傲、论断、顶撞牧者，这些老我的罪性一旦发动，就会在灵里留下破口，让仇敌拿到合法的拘留证和控告权。Lord, I thank You for helping me understand the power of sin. Pride, judgement, and rebellion against the pastor—once these sins of the old self are stirred up, they leave openings in the spirit, allowing the enemy to gain legal grounds to detain and accuse.那支射在我腿上的箭、那无法合眼的漫漫长夜，就像诗篇38篇所描绘的精血耗尽、骨头无安。这时候的黑夜，变成了祢所允许的“属灵监狱”。The arrow shot into my leg and the long sleepless nights were like what Psalm 38 describes: my strength drained away and my bones finding no rest. At that time, the night became a “spiritual prison” that You allowed. 祢没有立刻拿掉痛楚，是因为祢要在试炼里熬炼我、救我。祢使用仇敌管教我，但祢绝不允许仇敌毁灭我。祢精确地为我计算了囚期——整整28天，不多，也不少。You did not remove the pain immediately because You wanted to refine me and save me through the trial. You used the enemy to discipline me, but You would never allow the enemy to destroy me. You measured the length of my imprisonment precisely—exactly twenty-eight days, no more and no less.

在黑夜最痛苦的时候，圣灵带领我赞美敬拜。In the most painful hours of the night, the Holy Spirit led me to praise and worship.我虽痛，但我听着赞美诗歌，那让我灵魂得救的乐歌四面环绕我，不断地减少我的痛楚，将我的灵魂从被仇敌践踏的肉体中提升上去，拉近我跟祢的距离，使我几乎忘记我还有肉身。In the most painful hours of the night, the Holy Spirit led me to praise and worship. Although I was in pain, I listened to worship songs, and those songs of deliverance surrounded my soul, gradually lessening the pain, lifting my spirit above the flesh that was being trampled by the enemy, drawing me closer to You, and causing me almost to forget that I still had a physical body.赞美，成了我在属灵监狱里最强效的“止痛剂”和“反击炮”！Praise became the most powerful “painkiller” and “counterattack weapon” in my spiritual prison!

感谢祢，在痛楚中赐我力量，没有让我自卑自怜、对祢发怨言。Thank You for giving me strength in the pain and not allowing me to fall into self-pity, low self-worth, or complaint against You. 祢让我把这属灵囚室变成内室，可以在黑夜、夜深人静的时间，柔软谦卑、独自跪在祢面前，读着祢的话，用尽全部的意志力呼求圣灵，鉴察我内心最深的动机、隐而未显的罪。You turned that spiritual prison cell into an inner room, where in the darkness and stillness of the night I could kneel alone before You with a softened and humbled heart, read Your Word, and use all my willpower to cry out to the Holy Spirit to search the deepest motives of my heart and the hidden sins that had not yet been exposed. 祢用痛楚、黑暗，好像如水环绕我、围困我（17-18节），我惟有亲近祢、敬拜祢，绝不让心思意念被痛楚拉走，才能忍受这极大的痛苦。You used pain and darkness to surround and hem me in like water (verses 17–18). Only by drawing near to You and worshipping You, refusing to let my mind and thoughts be pulled away by the pain, could I endure such intense suffering.

主我感谢祢，把本该沦为“仇敌折磨”的废墟，硬生生变成了一个击打骄傲、认罪悔改、敬拜祢的祭坛！Lord, I thank You that You turned what could have become a ruin of “enemy torment” into an altar for striking down pride, confessing sin, repenting, and worshipping You! 就像夜半在腓立比监狱里歌唱的保罗和西拉，刑期还没满，锁链就已经在赞美的震动中开始松动了！过了这囚期，我惊奇地发现，身上某些死死捆绑我多年的坚固锁链，竟然开始松动脱落了，某些罪的权势大大减弱。Just like Paul and Silas singing at midnight in the prison of Philippi, even before the prison term had ended, the chains had already begun to loosen through the shaking of praise! After that period of imprisonment had passed, I was amazed to find that some strong chains which had bound me tightly for many years had begun to loosen and fall away, and the power of certain sins had been greatly weakened. 因为在肉身受过苦的，就已经与罪断绝了。我感谢祢这严厉的管教，让我受苦，是祢对我极大、极深的医治与慈爱！这恩典是何等丰盛的荣耀，对于我后面跟家族坚固营垒争战打下了根基。For whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin. I thank You for this severe discipline. Allowing me to suffer was Your deep and powerful healing and love towards me! How rich and glorious this grace is; it laid a foundation for my later battles against the strongholds in my family line.

主啊，感谢祢的十字架。最痛的刑罚、最深的地狱黑夜，都无法隔绝祢对父的顺服、对我们的爱！Lord, thank You for the cross. The most painful punishment and the deepest night of hell could not separate You from Your obedience to the Father or from Your love for us!仇敌任何试探招数、一切罪的权势在十字架面前都完全失效，只能让祢完全得胜。Every temptation of the enemy and every power of sin became completely powerless before the cross and could only lead to Your complete victory.

主啊，我感谢祢赐我黑夜；我愿在人生前面的每一个黑夜，都要向祢歌唱！因为我知道，当清晨的第一缕光线刺破黑暗，祢的救恩必然临到，祢必吩咐黑暗权势：“够了，退去吧！” Lord, I thank You for giving me the night. I am willing to sing to You in every night that lies ahead in my life! For I know that when the first ray of morning light pierces the darkness, Your salvation will surely come, and You will command the powers of darkness: “Enough. Withdraw!” 一宿虽然有哭泣，早晨便欢呼。这“早晨”，是祢向仇敌收回鞭子的时刻，也是祢向我们证明“祢依然掌权”的记号！谁也无法拦阻，我的祷告也必达到祢面前！我必更加靠近祢，认识祢。Weeping may remain for a night, but joy comes in the morning. This “morning” is the moment when You take the whip back from the enemy, and it is also the sign by which You prove to us that “You are still in control”! No one can stop it, and my prayer will surely come before You! I will draw even closer to You and know You more deeply.

（陈弟兄 Raymond Chan）