【诗66:18】我若心里注重罪孽，主必不听。【Psa 66:18】If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened;

为什么我们受苦之后，祷告似乎没有果效？环境也不改变，自己的内心还是苦毒、抱怨、黑暗、仇恨……感觉跟神很远？Why is it that after going through suffering, our prayers can still feel unanswered? Why do circumstances seem unchanged, while our hearts remain filled with bitterness, complaint, darkness, and resentment? Why do we still feel distant from God?为什么生命并没有发生“经过水火……到丰富之地”的翻转呢？ Why have we not yet experienced the transformation of “passing through fire and water… into a place of abundance”?

诗篇66篇最后这句著名的金句：“我若心里注重罪孽 (iniquity)，主必不听”，不正是诗人经历水火后，一针见血、切中要害的答案吗？在圣经原文中，iniquity（罪孽）的根本原意是“扭曲、弯曲、虚妄与内在的邪恶”。Isn’t the well-known final verse of Psalm 66 the clear and piercing answer the psalmist discovered after walking through fire and water? “If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.” In the original biblical sense, iniquity means something twisted, crooked, false, and inwardly evil.它指的不是偶然的过失，而是指我们内心深处被扭曲的本性，是我们偷偷珍视、紧抓不放、隐藏极深的私欲与坚固营垒。当我们明知道那是得罪神的意念，却依然在心里“注重”它、给它留地步时，主必不听我们的呼求。It is not simply an occasional mistake, but the deeply distorted nature within us — the hidden desires and strongholds we secretly treasure and refuse to let go of. When we know certain thoughts offend God, yet continue to hold onto them and give them space in our hearts, the Lord will not listen to our prayers.

彼得前书说，有为行善受苦的。但我们都知道，我们绝大多数人、在绝大多数时候，都是在为自己的罪受苦。First Peter speaks about suffering for doing good. Yet deep down, we know that most of the time we suffer because of our own sin.如果为罪受苦以后，能记住教训、学会功课，真实地悔改；如果能离弃自己的意念、转离自己的道路，在环境中真知道什么意念是扭曲的罪孽，什么是真理；But if, after suffering for sin, we can truly learn the lesson and genuinely repent; if we are willing to let go of our own thinking and turn from our own ways; if, within our circumstances, we can recognise which thoughts are twisted iniquity and which thoughts are truth;如果我们乐意向罪死，不再向罪孽的意念开门，顺从真理而行，真理必让我们脱离罪孽得自由——这苦就没有白受。if we become willing to die to sin and stop opening the door to sinful thinking, choosing instead to walk in truth — then truth will set us free from iniquity. In that case, our suffering will not have been wasted.

我自己曾为罪受苦多年。一被牧者责备、训诲，就立刻自辩、顶嘴：“不是你说的那样，我没有啊……” 。I myself suffered because of sin for many years. Whenever spiritual leaders corrected or disciplined me, I would immediately defend myself and argue back: “That’s not what I meant. I’m not like that…”我深怕被拒绝，里面的骄傲和羞耻感极度害怕别人说我不好。可是说起别人的时候，我却一套一套的，常常忘记自己的本相，论断不断，毫无怜悯。Deep inside, I was terrified of rejection. My pride and shame were so strong that I could hardly bear hearing anything negative about myself. Yet when talking about others, I always had plenty to say. I constantly judged people while forgetting my own true condition and showing little mercy.我的祷告常常看不到自己隐恶的罪孽，没有真实的悔改。信主多年，生命依然贫穷，没有爱和权能，根本不能祝福别人My prayers rarely exposed the hidden iniquity within me, and there was no real repentance. Even after many years of following the Lord, my life still felt spiritually poor, lacking love and spiritual authority, unable to truly bless others.

主啊，我到底为什么心里难受呢？什么意念在我心里不停地播放呢？我是在计算别人的恶吗？我自言自语好像在跟谁对话？这些推断、想象都是从哪里来的？Lord, why is my heart so troubled? What thoughts keep replaying endlessly inside me? Am I constantly counting other people’s wrongs? In those inner conversations, who am I really arguing with? Where do all these assumptions and imaginations come from?我为什么对我的老板、同事不满？我心里为什么对我的配偶、家人抱怨、不饶恕，总想说他们的坏话？我到底是谁？我有什么资格不停地审判人呢？ Why am I dissatisfied with my boss or colleagues? Why do I complain about my spouse and family, struggle to forgive them, and always want to speak negatively about them? Who am I, really? What right do I have to continually judge others?

主啊，祢的真理是怎么说的？我的心到底是被真理充满，还是被扭曲的私欲和罪孽充满？我把心门向谁敞开了？盗贼来，无非要偷窃、杀害、毁坏，难怪我的爱心和信心如此贫穷！Lord, what does Your truth actually say? Is my heart filled with truth, or filled with twisted desires and hidden sin? To whom have I opened the door of my heart? The thief comes only “to steal, kill, and destroy.” No wonder my love and faith have become so weak and poor.

主啊，我愿意悔改！我在这些意念上不是已经跌倒无数次了吗？难道受的苦还不够吗？我心中暗暗注重这些罪孽，把这些毒蛇当作宝贝揣在怀里，到底要到几时呢？Lord, I want to repent. Haven’t I already fallen into these same thoughts countless times? Haven’t I suffered enough because of them? Secretly, I have treasured these sins in my heart like poisonous snakes hidden against my chest. How much longer will I hold onto them?主啊，感谢祢让我因这些罪孽受了苦！我愿把这些功课深深地刻在我的心版上，牢牢记住。当环境再次临到时，我要死死守住心门，用坚固的信心抵挡仇敌的火箭。Lord, thank You for allowing me to suffer because of these sins. I want these lessons deeply engraved upon my heart so I will never forget them. When difficult situations come again, I want to guard the door of my heart carefully and resist the enemy’s fiery arrows with firm faith.我要默想真理、注视耶稣、跟随前面属灵人的脚踪，跟我里面那扭曲的罪孽争战到底！我要向罪孽死透，让赐生命圣灵的律在基督里释放我，彻底脱离这一生缠绕我的罪和死的律。I want to meditate on truth, fix my eyes on Jesus, follow the footsteps of mature believers who have gone before me, and fight against the twisted iniquity within me to the very end. I want to die completely to iniquity, so that the law of the Spirit of life in Christ may truly set me free from the law of sin and death that has bound me for so long.

经过水火，必到丰富之地！神是应当称颂的，因为祂并没有推却我的祷告，也没有叫祂的慈爱离开我（20节）。After passing through fire and water, we will surely enter a place of abundance. Blessed be God, because He has not rejected my prayer or withdrawn His lovingkindness from me (verse 20).

（陈弟兄 Raymond Chan）